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Writing Samples
Band 5

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?(KN)

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In
this
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 modern world, it is without a doubt that the usage of social
media
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 has increased exponentially. Relationships and community are indeed affected by social
media
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.
While
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 some think that social
media
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 can be harmful, I strongly believe that the usage of social
media
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have
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has
show examples
 more advantages than disadvantages. Not only it
serves
Wrong verb form
serve
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 as a form of communication, but
also
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 an incredible platform
to gain
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for gaining
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 knowledge.
Firstly
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, social
media
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 can be a tool to connect
people
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.
For instance
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, social
media
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 like Facebook allows a group of
people
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 with the same
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
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 to create a group page. They can have a healthy discussion on the same topic and gain different perspectives from others. Not only that Facebook or Instagram allows you to search for a
long lost
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long-lost
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 friend
for example
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.
This
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 is undeniably an incredible
ways
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way
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 to have a good effect on
a
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apply
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society.
Secondly
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, it is not news that social
media
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 is being used to gather
a quick and instant
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quick and instant information
a piece of quick and instant information
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information
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 on a particular topic.
For example
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, Wikipedia provides
information
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 about almost everything and TikTok nowadays is being used to learn about new things. During the pandemic, many
people
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 started using TikTok to teach and learn about new things including new cooking recipes or new
make up
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make-up
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tehniques
Correct your spelling
techniques
. It
also
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 gives
information
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 about relationships.
Therefore
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, social
media
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 is a great tool to gain new
information
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. In summary, social
media
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 makes
people
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 grow close together and
well equipped
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well-equipped
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 with
information
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.
While
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 it has its drawbacks
such
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 as prolonged usage and
make
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making
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 one's succumb to
sedentary
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a sedentary
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 lifestyle, it has more advantages and
this
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 outweighs the negative implications.

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task achievement
Provide a bit more detail on the negative aspects of social media to demonstrate a balanced view even though your position is clear.
task achievement
Although the use of various social media examples is good, try to incorporate even more diverse examples or statistics to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve transitions between paragraphs for a smoother flow of ideas. This can improve the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
The essay very clearly states a position regarding the advantages of social media, showing good task response.
task achievement
The examples of social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok were well-used to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.
coherence cohesion
You provided a logical structure, moving from advantages to addressing potential drawbacks, which is effective.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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