The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?(KN)

In
this
modern world, it is without a doubt that the usage of social
media
has increased exponentially. Relationships and community are indeed affected by social
media
.
While
some think that social
media
can be harmful, I strongly believe that the usage of social
media
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
more advantages than disadvantages. Not only it
serves
Wrong verb form
serve
show examples
as a form of communication, but
also
an incredible platform
to gain
Change preposition
for gaining
show examples
knowledge.
Firstly
, social
media
can be a tool to connect
people
.
For instance
, social
media
like Facebook allows a group of
people
with the same
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
to create a group page. They can have a healthy discussion on the same topic and gain different perspectives from others. Not only that Facebook or Instagram allows you to search for a
long lost
Add a hyphen
long-lost
show examples
friend
for example
.
This
is undeniably an incredible
ways
Change the noun form
way
show examples
to have a good effect on
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society.
Secondly
, it is not news that social
media
is being used to gather
a quick and instant
Remove the article
quick and instant information
a piece of quick and instant information
show examples
information
on a particular topic.
For example
, Wikipedia provides
information
about almost everything and TikTok nowadays is being used to learn about new things. During the pandemic, many
people
started using TikTok to teach and learn about new things including new cooking recipes or new
make up
Correct your spelling
make-up
show examples
tehniques
Correct your spelling
techniques
. It
also
gives
information
about relationships.
Therefore
, social
media
is a great tool to gain new
information
. In summary, social
media
makes
people
grow close together and
well equipped
Add a hyphen
well-equipped
show examples
with
information
.
While
it has its drawbacks
such
as prolonged usage and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
one's succumb to
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle, it has more advantages and
this
outweighs the negative implications.
Submitted by Nezzy on

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task achievement
Provide a bit more detail on the negative aspects of social media to demonstrate a balanced view even though your position is clear.
task achievement
Although the use of various social media examples is good, try to incorporate even more diverse examples or statistics to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve transitions between paragraphs for a smoother flow of ideas. This can improve the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
The essay very clearly states a position regarding the advantages of social media, showing good task response.
task achievement
The examples of social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok were well-used to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.
coherence cohesion
You provided a logical structure, moving from advantages to addressing potential drawbacks, which is effective.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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