Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. What do you think is the reason for this? Is this a positive or negative development?
In the Modern era , shopping become
the
prominent Correct article usage
a
activity
among youngpeople
in many parts of the world.Correct your spelling
young people
However
, I believe that it is mostly because of higher
salary, and Luxury Add an article
a higher
lifestytle
.I Correct your spelling
lifestyle
reckons
Change the verb form
reckon
this
activity
has more
positive impact on Add an article
a more
people
rather than few
negatives. Correct article usage
a few
This
essay will elucidate benefits
in the impending paragraphs.
To commence with, let us shed some Correct article usage
the benefits
lights
on the Pros of becoming Fix the agreement mistake
light
Correct article usage
a shopoaholic
shopoaholic
person . Correct your spelling
shopaholic
shopaholics
Firstly
, As most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
lives
Change the verb form
live
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
life style
as most of the time they Correct your spelling
lifestyle
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
there
time in Correct your spelling
their
office
Correct article usage
the office
with
work, they feel stressed. Change preposition
at
Therefore
, when they do outing
outside Fix the agreement mistake
outings
buying
some stuff Change the verb form
to buy
such
as clothes, phones or any other thing they feel more relaxed and energetic . For
instance
an article Published by Benjamin Bradlee in The Washington Post in Add a comma
instance,
Correct article usage
the Usa
Usa
in Correct your spelling
USA
year
2015 Change the article
the year
Reaveled
that Correct your spelling
Revealed
buying
stuff for themselves 70% of Change preposition
by buying
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
feel energetic and stressed
Correct your spelling
stress-free
free
Correct word choice
apply
.
Correct your spelling
Thus
thus
, going outside act
as a stressbuster for more Fix the agreement mistake
acts
people
.
Furthermore
,Second
Most prominent reason for Correct article usage
the Second
this
trend is when adult earns money they adopt luxury
lifestyle , they want to look cool and flaunt their status Correct article usage
a luxury
infront
of Correct your spelling
in front
there
near ones. Correct your spelling
their
for
example A survey conducted by Capitalize word
For
Correct article usage
the united
united states
commercial market states that Correct your spelling
United States
due to
the influence of social media more people
buy excessive stuff for maintaining their high status to the others.
In Addition
to this
, this
trend becomes
more trendy Wrong verb form
has become
due to
lonelinessCorrect your spelling
because
beacause
when Correct your spelling
because
people
go
outside from
home they enjoy Change preposition
of
with
friends, making social contact with other Add a missing verb
being with
people
and fell
more relaxed and Verb problem
feeling
cheerish
,
To Correct your spelling
cherish
cheers
summed
up , it is considered that Shopping Wrong verb form
sum
beccome
Correct your spelling
become
the
prominent Correct article usage
a
activity
among all people
. This
activity
helps pupil
to feel relaxed and energetic at work and leave Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
there
boredom at work.Correct your spelling
their
Submitted by navdeepbajaj89 on
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general
Expand your vocabulary to express ideas clearly and precisely. Use synonyms, advanced phrase structures, and avoid repetitive words or phrases. This will enhance the coherence, cohesion, and task response of your essay.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of your ideas. Ensure that each point you make directly relates to the question. Provide clear explanations and connections between your points and the overall theme. This will strengthen task achievement and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Develop your conclusion further. Summarize the main points clearly and reinforce your position based on the essay's content. This will bolster both task achievement and coherence & cohesion.
task achievement
Your essay identifies salient reasons why shopping is a popular leisure activity among young adults today. This indicates a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The essay offers specific examples, such as surveys and articles, which support the main points effectively. This adds credibility to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay describes both the pros and the reasons behind the trend, which addresses the question's demands and maintains focus.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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