Recent research has shown that media like the internet and TV has a greater influence over people’s lives than politicians. Which do you consider to be the greater influence? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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According to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent research
media
such
as
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
and TV have a
great
Correct word choice
greater
show examples
influence over the
lives
of the public than politicians. I personally believe that
media
has a great influence over the
lives
of
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
because
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
follow
Correct subject-verb agreement
follows
show examples
media
to access
information
and
news
, and they can be motivated and negatively affected by the
media
.
General
Correct article usage
The general
show examples
public
follow
Change the verb form
follows
show examples
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
and television to access
news
and
information
. Through
media
,
people
know about what is happening around the world.
Moreover
, they learn
news
about the numerous internal and external affairs of their countries.
These
Correct determiner usage
This
show examples
information
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to keep
people
updated with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
current affairs, and
these
Change the determiner
this
show examples
information
helps them to make
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
in their professional
lives
.
For example
, gaining knowledge about
surroundings
Correct pronoun usage
their surroundings
show examples
helps students to decide their research topics or subjects to study.
Moreover
,
people
get motivated by the
media
news
.
Such
as
media
news
of sports events encourage
people
to take part in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports. It helps to keep them fit and healthy.
However
, some
news
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
negatively
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
their daily
lives
. These
news
severely affect the daily
lives
and mental state of the public.
For example
,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Israel-Palestain
Correct your spelling
Israel-Palestine
war severely
effecting
Verb problem
affected
show examples
people
's mental health around the world. When
people
experiencing
Wrong verb form
experience
show examples
genocide through the
media
, it affects their
lives
severely.
To conclude
,
media
has a great influence
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
lives
of the general public.
People
use
media
to access
information
and
news
.
Media
sometimes
modivates
Correct your spelling
motivates
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
and sometimes affects their daily
lives
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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example precision
Consider expanding on the examples provided to give more depth and support to your arguments.
balanced argumentation
Try to provide a more detailed discussion on how both media and politicians influence society to provide a balanced perspective.
supporting points
Ensure that all main points are thoroughly supported with evidence or examples for a more persuasive argument.
introduction conclusion
The essay contains a clear and logical introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main points well.
logical flow
The arguments are generally coherent and ideas are linked well, making the essay easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay comprehensively addresses the task and presents relevant ideas and examples.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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