IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that to reduce the amount of time people spend commuting (travelling to work), parks and gardens close to city centres should be replaced by apartment buildings for commuters to live in. However, others disagree with this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #amount #time #work #parks #gardens #city #centres #apartment #buildings #commuters
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Parks and
gardens
 are ending up and
this
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 contentious issue .
Although
 a lot of
people
 argue that parks and
gardens
 ought to be turned into residential
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 firmly disagree with
this
 statement.In the Impending paragraphs,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will elucidate why the walkways are essential
why
Correct word choice
and why
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 they should not be eliminated .
To begin
 with,Commuting
for
Change preposition
from
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 the job to the cities is an issue ,a lot of
people
 daily drive to urban areas
this
 is impacting the environment
adversly
Correct your spelling
adversely
.Gasoline
buring
Correct your spelling
burying
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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vehicles is going to pollute the natural ecosystem .When
people
 inhale that polluted air,
this
 causes the different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of ailments among the masses.So,to reduce
this
 ,the only solution is to minimize the traffic by shifting the
people
 closer to their workplace. another heated
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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favor of the idea is that it saves
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time in travelling which
hence
 can be utilized
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the workplace or in some other productive activity.So, in
speedy
Add an article
a speedy
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life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
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 is the money .
On the contrary
,another group of
people
 argue
agaist
Correct your spelling
against
 it they
beilves
Correct your spelling
believe
 that ending up
gardens
Change preposition
in gardens
show examples
 and
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
 creates drastic impacts
itself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.If there are no trees and
gardens
this
 would increase the greenhouse
on
Change preposition
in
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 the world which will raise the
temprature
Correct your spelling
temperature
 significantly.
For instance
, the countries which have less
greenary
Correct your spelling
greenery
expeirnce
Correct your spelling
experience
 hot
waether
Correct your spelling
weather
 throughout the year.If we keep on ending the
greenary
Correct your spelling
greenery
 that would in turn exert its effects on the life of birds and a few types of other animals.
For example
,the species of a few birds are
getting
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
 extinct in the cities because they do not have the proper
arrangments
Correct your spelling
arrangements
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 for their nests and food. In conclusion ,
eradication
Correct article usage
the eradication
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 of
gardens
 and parks is causing more
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
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 than pollution by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cars and traffic.So,I believe that
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should formulate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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policies that
encourages
Change the verb form
encourage
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 the masses to grow plants .There should be the proper funding to create
the
Correct article usage
a
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balance
Replace the word
balanced
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 infrastructure .
Submitted by shehzadarshad976 on

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relevant specific examples
Work on developing more detailed and specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to clarify and elaborate on your ideas more thoroughly. Sometimes they appear a bit underdeveloped and unclear.
introduction conclusion present
Good attempt to present an introduction and conclusion, which structure your essay well.
complete response
Clear contrast of views, which shows you understand the task requirements.
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