IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The diagrams below show the development of the horse over a period of 40 million years. write a report a univeraity decribing the information shown below.

The diagrams below show the development of the horse over a period of 40 million years. write a report a univeraity decribing the information shown below.
#diagrams #show #development #horse #period #million #years #report #univeraity #information
Given the diagrams illustrating the horses’ development over 40
million
years
. It is evident from the information provided that there are four main evolutions involved. In the first stage of horses' evolution, the period is 40
million
years
 ago and the
horse
 is denoted by Eohippus, the
body
 size was small, the tail was short, there was no
mane
Correct your spelling
man
show examples
 in the neck, and the foot had five
toes
.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
 second phase, the period
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
30
million
years
 ago, the
body
 size
was became
Change the verb form
became
show examples
 bigger, the legs, tail and neck
were became
Change the verb form
became
show examples
 longer, and the neck had some
mane
cover
Wrong verb form
covering
show examples
 it, the obvious change is the
toes
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
from five
toes
 to three
toes
, and the middle toe is bigger than other two
toes
. Coming to the third section, it came to 15
million
years
 ago, the
body
 size
overall
 was bigger than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 second stage, and
mane
Correct article usage
the mane
show examples
 became
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
dense,
toes
Fix the agreement mistake
toe
show examples
 joints became
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
and the middle toe became longer. Next to the
last
 period, namely modern, the appearance looks like today’s
horse
, the
body
 has evolved very maturely, all of the
body
 parts became longer, and
mane
Correct article usage
the mane
show examples
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 very thick, the major change was the
toes
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
evolved to hoofs.
Through the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 diagram shows about
horse
’s evolution, and can learn the process of how an ancient
horse
 became today’s modern
horse
, the most eye-catching part is the change in the foot.
Submitted by meniwii.c on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words million, years, horse, body, mane, toes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
▼

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!