It is argued that parents of children who break the law should be punished as they are responsible for their children’s actions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Parents
are the primary teachers of their
children
.
Children
blindly follow their
parents
' advice. What
parents
teach their
children
is very important.
Parents
understand their
children
's behaviours and maturity
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
better than anyone else.
Parents
should teach their
children
to maintain the laws.
Moreover
,
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
children
should obey the
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. They should know that in a civilized
society
Add a comma
society,
show examples
everyone should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
abide by the rules and regulations. Those who do not follow societal rules and customs cannot be able to stay in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society anymore.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Try to develop your arguments further by providing more detailed explanations and supporting evidence. Currently, the essay lacks depth and specific examples that could strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider developing a clear introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay, as well as a conclusion that summarizes your thoughts and reaffirms your stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain a coherent flow of ideas throughout the essay. This could involve using linking words and phrases to guide the reader.
task achievement
The essay includes a clear statement of the importance of parental responsibility in guiding children's behavior, which is relevant to the topic.
task achievement
There's a recognition of the role of societal laws and regulations, which ties well into the discussion of the responsibilities of individuals within a community.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accountability
  • responsibility
  • moral and ethical values
  • socio-economic factors
  • peer pressure
  • media influence
  • justice system
  • external factors
  • parenting workshops
  • counseling services
  • community programs
  • behavioral change
  • autonomous decision-making
  • legal and ethical limits
What to do next:
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