Some people believe that allowing their children to make their own choises on every day matter (such as food,clothes and entertainment ) is likely to result in a society of indevisualse who only think about their own wishes .other people belive that it important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
#people #children #choises #matter #food #clothes #entertainment #society #indevisualse #belive #decisions #matters
Nowadays,
increasing
number of Add an article
an increasing
people
think when children
make their own choices, they will achive
confidence and Correct your spelling
achieve
being
independent in the future and many other advantages. Wrong verb form
be
While
other believe if children
given
the choice of everyday Add a missing verb
are given
matter
, Fix the agreement mistake
matters
that
will result in a selfish generation. I personally think given kids the choice for their daily matters it's so important to build their character but it should done wisely with some limitations and rules.
On one hand, giving Correct pronoun usage
it
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
the freedom to choose their clothes, food, and entertainment, it
would lead to Correct pronoun usage
apply
self-esteem
generation, that Correct article usage
a self-esteem
know
exactly what they want and what should they do. Even though that Change the verb form
knows
true
it should done Add a missing verb
is true
in wise
. Rephrase
wisely
For example
, insteed
ofCorrect your spelling
instead
put
the child in the kitchen and Wrong verb form
putting
told
him to prepare his meal, the parent can offer two or three meals and make him choose between them. That will definitely make him analyze his options and make logical choices, and that could only done under the guidance of Wrong verb form
telling
parent
.
Add an article
a parent
On the other hand
, some people
see these practices would spoil
young Wrong verb form
spoiling
people
and lead
to disobedience. They believe that Wrong verb form
leading
children
don't have enough awareness to make their own choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
,
and that not only would use a selfish and rebellious kid but Remove the comma
apply
also
make with
them an unhealthy routine and practices. Which could affect both physical and mental healthChange preposition
apply
?
Change the punctuation
.
For example
, according to
the most
leading health organization, obesity problems are very common among young Correct quantifier usage
apply
people
, who make their own choices without the guidance of their parents.
To conclude
, also
giving children
the power to choose is very
powerful way to build their personality and develop their skills. It Add an article
a very
also
could lead to dire consequences if not implemented in a proper way. So making plans and educate
young Wrong verb form
educating
people
how
to choose logically is the best way to ensure Change preposition
on how
the
safety. Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, putting punishment and rules is also
good
approach to keep them within limits.Add an article
a good
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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical structure throughout the essay by organizing your main points more clearly. Consider using paragraphs effectively to distinguish between the two viewpoints discussed.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples or evidence. Expand on the examples provided to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Aim for clear and comprehensive expression of your ideas. Use varied sentence structures and vocabulary to improve clarity.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views of the topic and provides an opinion, ensuring a complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion paragraphs are present and effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and attempts to provide reasoning for both viewpoints.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.