The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and liveable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

#world #towns #cities #centuries #liveable #people #times

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

People come to

cities

for a better living. There are numerous opportunities available in towns and

cities

such

as better employment and education

opportinities

Correct your spelling

opportunities

. People believe that if they migrate to towns and

cities

, their lives will be changed a lot. Their children will get

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

education and

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

a suitable environment to grow.

This

migration makes

cities

densly

Correct your spelling

densely

populated. There

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

show examples

in accessing every

facilities

Change to a singular noun

facility

show examples

in towns and

cities

Submitted by rahman_rehana on Fri Oct 11 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

The essay addresses the topic by discussing the reasons for migration to cities, such as better employment and education opportunities, but does not fully address the problems caused by old towns and cities not being suitable for modern living or solutions to those problems. Try to focus more on the specific problems and solutions related to old city infrastructure.

coherence cohesion

You have introduced the topic and explained why people move to cities, which is a good start. However, the essay lacks a clear structure, including a proper introduction and conclusion that summarize and reiterate the main points. Consider organizing your points into distinct paragraphs for introduction, problems, solutions, and conclusion.

task response

The essay explains the main reasons why people migrate to cities, which is a good foundational point for your discussion.

task response

You have demonstrated an understanding of the topic by referencing employment and education as key factors, which is relevant.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

71 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

degraded infrastructure
outdated infrastructure
modern requirements
deterioration
modern amenities
adequate healthcare facilities
educational institutions
recreational areas
congestion
overpopulation
strain resources
ancient construction methods
environmental standards
pollution levels
inefficient energy use
narrow streets
transportation
emergency services
urban redevelopment
preservation of heritage
smart city technologies
sustainable urban planning
retrofitting
public transportation networks
green spaces

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people believe that children should obey rules and listen to their parents and teachers; Some others believe that less control will help children deal with their adult life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many individuals insist that children should follow their parents' and teachers's rules, on the other hand, the rest of the people believe that giving a safe free space to children to grow will be beneficial to their growth. In my opinion, I am more inclined to believe that children a vulnerable human beings who are still in need of assistance and support from their parents and teachers.
<4
band
In many parts of the world, people are relying more and more on prepared food from grocery stores and restaurants because they are too busy to cook at home. This is a bad idea because home-cooked food is much better for us. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Nowadays, every working person has a hectic schedule. Pupils become more depending on eating packed food or prepared food from superstore or restaurants. I agree with this notion that eating processed food may causes so many diseases, spend to much money, makes you become more lazy.
4.5
band
Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Health is a basic right that every human should have. Thus, every government always have some of their budget to provide an adequate medical treatment. Be that as it may, however, there is an opinion that a country must also have a big proportion of its fund for health education and prevention measures rather than only for medical treatment. I strongly agree that such strategy will be the best step to improve health quality since it can minimizes the higher cost needed for treatment in the next future as well as be a generational cure for a disease. This essay will shed some light on this issue and the writer's point of view.
6
band
Computers and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?
In this digital age, modern devices and technology are being utilized for online classes for their ability to greatly improve studying experience by making the courses more interactive. This author believes that this is a positive development due to higher learning efficiency.
7.5
band
A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
At present, natural oil is the primary source of energy that powers the world economy. However, there is a notion that the world has been spending excessively on oil exploration, and it suggests that the money should be utilised in a better way to fund innovations that could generate alternative energy sources such as wind and solar power. I totally agree with the idea that we should spend more money to develop renewable sources of power because it would mitigate the effects of global climate change.

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and liveable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that children should obey rules and listen to their parents and teachers; Some others believe that less control will help children deal with their adult life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many parts of the world, people are relying more and more on prepared food from grocery stores and restaurants because they are too busy to cook at home. This is a bad idea because home-cooked food is much better for us. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Computers and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?