The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and liveable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

People come to
cities
for a better living. There are numerous opportunities available in towns and
cities
such
as better employment and education
opportinities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
. People believe that if they migrate to towns and
cities
, their lives will be changed a lot. Their children will get
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
education and
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a suitable environment to grow.
This
migration makes
cities
densly
Correct your spelling
densely
populated. There
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
show examples
in accessing every
facilities
Change to a singular noun
facility
show examples
in towns and
cities
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task response
The essay addresses the topic by discussing the reasons for migration to cities, such as better employment and education opportunities, but does not fully address the problems caused by old towns and cities not being suitable for modern living or solutions to those problems. Try to focus more on the specific problems and solutions related to old city infrastructure.
coherence cohesion
You have introduced the topic and explained why people move to cities, which is a good start. However, the essay lacks a clear structure, including a proper introduction and conclusion that summarize and reiterate the main points. Consider organizing your points into distinct paragraphs for introduction, problems, solutions, and conclusion.
task response
The essay explains the main reasons why people migrate to cities, which is a good foundational point for your discussion.
task response
You have demonstrated an understanding of the topic by referencing employment and education as key factors, which is relevant.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • degraded infrastructure
  • outdated infrastructure
  • modern requirements
  • deterioration
  • modern amenities
  • adequate healthcare facilities
  • educational institutions
  • recreational areas
  • congestion
  • overpopulation
  • strain resources
  • ancient construction methods
  • environmental standards
  • pollution levels
  • inefficient energy use
  • narrow streets
  • transportation
  • emergency services
  • urban redevelopment
  • preservation of heritage
  • smart city technologies
  • sustainable urban planning
  • retrofitting
  • public transportation networks
  • green spaces
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