Write about the following topic: Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#topic #sales #consumer #goods #power #society

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Today, social

media

platforms serve as the main means of advertisements. There are many psychological reasons behind

this

. We have to consider the amount of time certain groups of

people

spend their time on social

media

Due to

early exposure to

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

, younger generations have a tendency to waste most of their time on social

media

Additionally

, young

people

react to trends more as compared to older

people

, mainly

because

Add the preposition

because of

show examples

their fear of missing out.

Therefore

, popular consumer goods will be easily sold to

people

who do not want to miss out

trendy

Change preposition

on trendy

show examples

things

as advertised on social

media

For instance

, a viral video of sole protectors which are in most cases, unnecessary items or not the real needs of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

However

people

on social

media

unexpectedly react positively to

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of unnecessary

stuffs

Change the wording

stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

Hence

people

will buy

this

for the sake of the trends. There are already many victims of

this

advertising strategy.

People

find themselves buying

things

just because they see a lot of

people

using them.

Additionally

people

also

have a tendency to purchase

things

that they want

instead

things

that they actually need.

This

proves the power of advertising in influencing

people

to spend their money on these popular goods. In conclusion, it is recommended as a society to have some self-control or not

getting

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

easily swayed by trending goods.

People

need to start focusing on

the

Change the word

their

show examples

real needs because it

will be

Wrong verb form

show examples

likely that if society keeps letting

this

happen, it will be taken

advantages

Fix the agreement mistake

advantage

show examples

of.

Submitted by adelalaurens00 on Fri Oct 11 2024

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task achievement

To enhance task achievement, consider providing more direct examples of how advertising has led to the sales of products that do not meet society's real needs. This can help strengthen your argument and provide clearer evidence. Elaborating on the link between advertising strategies and consumer behavior can also bring more depth.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, focusing on smoother transitions between some paragraphs will help the essay flow better. For instance, when discussing the impact of social media, better linking it back to the main argument can ensure a unified response.

coherence cohesion

The essay begins with a strong introduction, outlining the role of social media in advertising and setting up the discussion effectively. This helps capture the reader's interest from the start.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear and logical structure throughout the essay, with each paragraph building upon the points raised. This logical progression aids in the reader's understanding of the argument.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion wraps up the essay nicely by offering a meaningful takeaway. Reinforcing the importance of self-control brings the points home and provides a thought-provoking end to the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Write about the following topic: Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects at university in many countries. Why is this? What effects does this have on society?

The concept of success has varying interpretations. Some individuals attribute success to hard work and determination, while others emphasize factors such as wealth and physical appearance as being more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.