Write about the following topic: Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Today, social
media
platforms serve as the main means of advertisements. There are many psychological reasons behind this
. We have to consider the amount of time certain groups of people
spend their time on social media
. Due to
early exposure to internet
, younger generations have a tendency to waste most of their time on social Add an article
the internet
media
. Additionally
, young people
react to trends more as compared to older people
, mainly because
their fear of missing out.
Add the preposition
because of
Therefore
, popular consumer goods will be easily sold to people
who do not want to miss out trendy
Change preposition
on trendy
things
as advertised on social media
. For instance
, a viral video of sole protectors which are in most cases, unnecessary items or not the real needs of the
society. Correct article usage
apply
However
, people
on social media
unexpectedly react positively to these kind
of unnecessary Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
stuffs
. Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
Hence
, people
will buy this
for the sake of the trends.
There are already many victims of this
advertising strategy. People
find themselves buying things
just because they see a lot of people
using them. Additionally
, people
also
have a tendency to purchase things
that they want instead
of things
that they actually need. This
proves the power of advertising in influencing people
to spend their money on these popular goods.
In conclusion, it is recommended as a society to have some self-control or not getting
easily swayed by trending goods. Wrong verb form
get
People
need to start focusing on the
real needs because it Change the word
their
will be
likely that if society keeps letting Wrong verb form
is
this
happen, it will be taken advantages
of.Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
Submitted by adelalaurens00 on
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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, consider providing more direct examples of how advertising has led to the sales of products that do not meet society's real needs. This can help strengthen your argument and provide clearer evidence. Elaborating on the link between advertising strategies and consumer behavior can also bring more depth.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focusing on smoother transitions between some paragraphs will help the essay flow better. For instance, when discussing the impact of social media, better linking it back to the main argument can ensure a unified response.
coherence cohesion
The essay begins with a strong introduction, outlining the role of social media in advertising and setting up the discussion effectively. This helps capture the reader's interest from the start.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear and logical structure throughout the essay, with each paragraph building upon the points raised. This logical progression aids in the reader's understanding of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion wraps up the essay nicely by offering a meaningful takeaway. Reinforcing the importance of self-control brings the points home and provides a thought-provoking end to the discussion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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