Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Today, social
media
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platforms serve as the main means of advertisements. There are many psychological reasons behind
this
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. We have to consider the amount of time certain groups of
people
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spend their time on social
media
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.
Due to
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early exposure to
internet
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the internet
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, younger generations have a tendency to waste most of their time on social
media
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.
Additionally
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, young
people
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react to trends more as compared to older
people
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, mainly
because
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because of
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their fear of missing out.
Therefore
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, popular consumer goods will be easily sold to
people
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who do not want to miss out
trendy
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on trendy
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things
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as advertised on social
media
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.
For instance
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, a viral video of sole protectors which are in most cases, unnecessary items or not the real needs of
the
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apply
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society.
However
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,
people
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on social
media
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unexpectedly react positively to
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
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of unnecessary
stuffs
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stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
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.
Hence
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,
people
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will buy
this
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for the sake of the trends. There are already many victims of
this
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advertising strategy.
People
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find themselves buying
things
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just because they see a lot of
people
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using them.
Additionally
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,
people
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also
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have a tendency to purchase
things
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that they want
instead
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of
things
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that they actually need.
This
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proves the power of advertising in influencing
people
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to spend their money on these popular goods. In conclusion, it is recommended as a society to have some self-control or not
getting
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get
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easily swayed by trending goods.
People
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need to start focusing on
the
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their
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real needs because it
will be
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is
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likely that if society keeps letting
this
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happen, it will be taken
advantages
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advantage
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of.

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, consider providing more direct examples of how advertising has led to the sales of products that do not meet society's real needs. This can help strengthen your argument and provide clearer evidence. Elaborating on the link between advertising strategies and consumer behavior can also bring more depth.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focusing on smoother transitions between some paragraphs will help the essay flow better. For instance, when discussing the impact of social media, better linking it back to the main argument can ensure a unified response.
coherence cohesion
The essay begins with a strong introduction, outlining the role of social media in advertising and setting up the discussion effectively. This helps capture the reader's interest from the start.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear and logical structure throughout the essay, with each paragraph building upon the points raised. This logical progression aids in the reader's understanding of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion wraps up the essay nicely by offering a meaningful takeaway. Reinforcing the importance of self-control brings the points home and provides a thought-provoking end to the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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