An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and healtg care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

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Recently, many children have been overweight, which leads to their health problems. Outweigh in children is most often associated with several factors

such

as poor diet, a sedentary lifestyle and psychological factors.

This

essay will examine the reasons and solutions The first problem is improper nutrition. There can be many reasons for poor appetite. Like, improperly constructed daily routine, few walks in the fresh air,and insufficient physical

activity

. Kids with bad eating habits do not receive the necessary amount of nutrients for good health.

For example

, young people who eat poorly, as a rule, have a weaker immune system, which increases their chances of getting sick. The solution to

this

problem is a balanced diet. It is important to follow a diet and quality of food, decrease the amount of sweets, oily products and fast foods, increasing vegetables, fruits

also

whole grains. The second reason is the inactive lifestyle. Children have been spending more time behind the screen lately, which reduces their

activity

and physical fitness.

For instance

, a healthy body affects a good mood, productivity development and strong health.

However

, excess weight can decrease immune systems and a kid can get easily sick. To solve

this

problem,

firstly

parents can make food more appetising and the kid probably will want to eat it. The view is

also

very important so as not to lose the child's appetite.

For example

, there is no need to force them to eat what they don't want. There is plenty of good nutrition which kids will like. If she doesn't like broccoli, she probably likes something else, it doesn't have to be one thing.

Secondly

is physical

activity

where kids regularly do exercise or light activities like walking in fresh air which helps to support healthy fitness. In conclusion, by creating healthier habits and promoting physical

activity

, we can combat childhood obesity and ensure a brighter, better future for the next generations

Submitted by aluagabitova on Fri Oct 11 2024

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coherence cohesion

Improve transition and connection between ideas. For instance, providing clearer logical bridges between the problems identified and the solutions proposed would enhance coherence.

task achievement

Expand on the solutions a bit more. Specifically, the essay mentions that parents can make food more appetizing but doesn't elaborate enough on how exactly this could be done.

task achievement

Consider using more specific examples to support your ideas, such as statistics or studies related to childhood obesity trends and successful intervention strategies.

task achievement

The essay effectively covers the main causes and solutions with well-structured paragraphs dedicated to each part of the question.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear introduction that outlines what the essay will address, as well as a concise conclusion that summarizes the main points.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a logical sequence, with each paragraph focusing on a particular aspect of the problem or its solution, contributing to overall coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

318 words

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An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and healtg care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their countries. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to change this negative attitude towards international tourism?

Some people say that what individuals do to protect the environment cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect the environment. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

The two below show the site of a college in 2006 and the present day.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.