Some people think that only staff who worked in a company for a long time should be promoted to higher positions. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and examples.
According to
many, in order for employees to increase their position in workplace
, an extended period of experience Add an article
the workplace
a workplace
need
to be Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
requirement
. I strongly disagree with Add an article
a requirement
this
perspective on the grounds that, by lenghtening
Correct your spelling
lengthening
promotion
period, workforce
faces both motivation challenges and injustices.
Since professions are of paramount importance Correct article usage
the workforce
for
people's Change preposition
in
lifes
, every person who is a part of Correct your spelling
lives
worklife
Correct your spelling
work life
work-life
,
wants to step up. To most of them, Remove the comma
apply
this
is the primer
aspect Correct your spelling
primary
to operate
efficiently. Change preposition
of operating
Due to
the fact that cost
of Correct article usage
the cost
life
has soared, starting wages are not sufficient, especially for those who are compelled to feed a family. Replace the word
living
Therefore
, making promotion
tied to long working years is no
beneficial for both employer and Correct your spelling
not
employee's
. Change the noun form
employees
employee
This
situation leads to laziness as extra working
would not mean anything. Consider a construction worker. If he knew the fact that no matter how hard he Replace the word
work
works
, he becomes Wrong verb form
worked
supervisor
no sooner than five years, he would not give himself Correct article usage
a supervisor
to
work.
Change preposition
up to
Moreover
, correlating promotion
to workspan is clearly unfair, especially to brilliant minds. Not everyone has same
perception or capacity. Correct article usage
the same
While
some individuals have restricted abilities, others may be utterly capable. This
is what management
level needs. By keeping highly skilled professionals in Correct article usage
the management
same
positions, neither companies get Correct article usage
the same
benefit
from them nor Add the particle
to benefit
these
people Add a missing verb
do these
fulfill
their goals. Change the spelling
fulfil
This
would be a mutually harmful implementation, which never be executed by massive companies.
In conclusion, implementing time-related
Correct article usage
a time-related
promotion
mechanism not only diminishes staff's performance,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
culminates in inequalities.Submitted by TUTOO on
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task achievement
Try to use more relevant and specific examples to support your points for a stronger argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider refining sentence structure and grammar for clarity and accuracy, which can enhance your overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
Your main points are generally well-supported and relevant to the topic.
task achievement
You effectively express a disagreement with the notion and provide structured reasoning for your argument.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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