The bar chart below shows the information of the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did frequent physical activity in 2010

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The bar diagram above illustrates the amount of Australian males and females in various age groups who did physical activity frequently in 2010.

Overall

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, it is obvious that

women

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outweigh

men

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in regular exercises between the ages of 25 years old until 65 and above.

While

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young

men

Use synonyms

between 15 to 24 years old are more active. Looking at the information in more detail, Australian

women

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seem to exercise more than

men

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. Between 25 years and 65 and over.

Women

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have the vast majority of physical activities. With 48% and 53% range over the period.

However

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52.8% of

men

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between 15 to 24 workout regularly more than

women

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with only 17.7% in 2010.

Moreover

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, both males and females at 65 and over were almost equal in 2010.

Men

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were at 46%

whereas

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women

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were at 47%.

Furthermore

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, the lowest percentage in

this

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category was for

men

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aged 35 to 44 at only 39.9%

Submitted by reem.rz112 on Fri Oct 11 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, men with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

153 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

bar chart
percentage
Australian
men
women
age groups
frequent physical activity
2010
data
findings
observation
physical activity levels

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The bar chart below shows the information of the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did frequent physical activity in 2010

In recent times, many people have focused on the negative effects advertising has on children’s health, behaviour and family relationships. Advertising to children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

To what extent do you agree or disagree that public health will improve in the future? Provide reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays many people choose to be self employed, rather than to work for a company or oragnisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve the growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? What other measures do you think might be effective?