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Band 5.5

The environment is changing rapidly because humans are destroying nature to meet their needs. Discuss this cause of environmental change and suggest some solutions for this problem

#environment #humans #nature #change
It is widely accepted that our environment is changing rapidly just because of human activities to meet their needs. In fact, in my point of view, activities done by
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 which
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
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 so many environmental
problems
 can destroy the society that we are living in.
To begin
 with, population growth in the first place causes so many
problems
 all over the world.
In other words
, more people, more needs. So whenever we face more needs, lots of waste and pollution will be produced.
Although
, cutting more trees to meet our needs or sometimes destroying animals' life
cycle
Fix the agreement mistake
cycles
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 by hunting with no limitations for our food needs can lead to destroying the environment. Greenhouse gas production,
however
, causes so many serious
problems
 in our environment and
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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climate change and
finally
Add a comma
finally,
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 it
increased
Wrong verb form
increases
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 global warming.
Therefore
, it is really necessary for all the governments in every country to encourage their citizens to cooperate with each other to solve these serious
problems
. Whenever governments encourage people to use less plastic or packed goods or teach them from younger ages the importance of recycling even from the house, they can tackle these
problems
 step by step.
In addition
, there should be hard and limited rules for cutting trees and hunting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals to save the cycle of nature. In summary, human beings' needs in today's modern and crowded world can
cause
Verb problem
have
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 lots of effects on our planet. So we need to be more concerned about our activities and
also
 cooperate with governments to save our planet. Who wants to live in a poisoned society?
Submitted by madihaali8470 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention particular environmental problems caused by specific human activities.
coherence cohesion
Consider improving the variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and complete response to the task, addressing both the causes of environmental change and potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which adds to the essay's coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The language used in the essay is clear, and the points are generally well-developed and relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental degradation
  • exploitation
  • conservation
  • sustainable
  • ecosystem
  • carbon footprint
  • renewable energy
  • recycling
  • alternative transportation
  • afforestation
  • laws and regulations
  • awareness campaigns
  • eco-friendly
  • bio-diverse
  • sustainable development
  • reduce, reuse, recycle
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