“Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.”

It is considered by some individuals,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
in economic
development
will help in solving the problem of poverty,
whereas
, some said economic growth would
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to
environmently
Correct your spelling
environmental
environmentally
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
. I support the view that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
in
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
will help in generating more
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
which will help in solving the problem of unemployment. Meanwhile, industrial
development
will
cause
air
pollution
and water
pollution
. Rapid growth in
technology
Correct article usage
the technology
show examples
sector
allowing
Wrong verb form
allows
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foregin
Correct your spelling
foreign
company to set up their business in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
, which will create
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
number of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
in each and
very
Correct your spelling
every
show examples
sector.
For instance
, as the IT sector is increasing companies like TCS,
wipro
Change the capitalization
Wipro
show examples
etc hiring lots of young talents, as demand
raise
Verb problem
rises
show examples
companies are constructing many new offices and industrial, which are providing blue
collor
Correct your spelling
collar
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
to
unexperienced
Correct your spelling
inexperienced
show examples
people. In
this
way economic growth
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to end hunger and poverty.
On the other hand
,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
industrial
development
will
cause
environmental
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
. Many
foregin
Correct your spelling
foreign
company
Change to a plural noun
companies
show examples
will
setup there
Correct your spelling
set up their
show examples
plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
show examples
to meet the demand,
this
will lead to deforestation. Because large area will be required in
construction
Add an article
the construction
show examples
of industries and
manufacting
Correct your spelling
manufacturing
facilities.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
chemical companies will generate a lot of smoke which will
cause
air
pollution
and many factories will throw their harmful waste
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
river
Fix the agreement mistake
rivers
show examples
which will
cause
water
pollution
. In conclusion, economic
development
will help
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
us
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over come
Correct your spelling
overcome
show examples
poverty by creating
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
for poor people,
however
increase in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of factories will
cause
environmently
Correct your spelling
environmental
environmentally
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
.
Submitted by merujain2221 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Consider enhancing the essay's logical structure by using more connectors and transitions between ideas, to ensure seamless flow of arguments.
task achievement
Ensure task achievement by incorporating more varied examples and exploring both views more deeply.
task achievement
The essay successfully presents both views regarding economic growth and environmental concerns and provides a personal opinion in the conclusion, thus ensuring the task is properly addressed.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, showcasing a full structure in place.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: