Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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These days
people
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argue that children should be banned from using their
phones
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during the
school
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day
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.
While
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others believe that using
phones
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should be legal during the
school
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day
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.
This
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essay will discuss both views. Using
phones
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in recent years is necessary for many reasons. Young
people
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need to be allowed to
using
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use
show examples
their
phones
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to do research or connect with their families.
For example
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, a study at Harvard University shows that schools that
allows
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allow
show examples
their
students
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to
using
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use
show examples
their
phones
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during the
school
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day
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have a higher band in final year study rather than schools that banned their
students
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from using
phones
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. In modern
studies
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studies,
show examples
students
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need
phones
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to have effective learning. On the other side,
people
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who say that schools should
banned
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ban
be banned
show examples
using
phones
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
think that because
phones
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have many downsides for young
people
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.
Although
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they
needs
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need
show examples
phones
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to do some research or some tasks, that makes them distracting during the
school
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day
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.
For instance
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, when I was in high
school
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
was allowed to use
phones
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in
Change preposition
at
show examples
specific times, but some
students
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started using their
phones
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just to watch movies or use social media. Using
phones
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have
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has
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two sides
for
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this
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reason some families decline the idea of using
phones
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during the
school
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day
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.
To sum up
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, Using mobiles during
school
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days
hes
Correct your spelling
has
two sides.
This
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essay discussed both views. In my opinion, there are many benefits to using
phones
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by children these days. That
help
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helps
show examples
kids to improve their skills by doing research at
school
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or
finish
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finishing
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their homework in their free time at
school
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.
Submitted by reem.b.albalawi on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and logical progression to enhance cohesion. Improve transitions between some sentences for better flow.
task achievement
Address more potential reasons for both sides of the argument to achieve a more complete response. Include more varied examples to strengthen arguments.
introduction conclusion present
You successfully introduced the topic and provided a balanced conclusion, outlining both views and your opinion on allowing phone use in schools.
complete response
Your essay covers the main points of the debate, showing a good understanding of the opposing views and demonstrating an ability to present a balanced argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Concentration
  • Emergency communication
  • Digital literacy
  • Educational resources
  • Social development
  • Self-regulation
  • Enforcement
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Technology access
  • Learning apps
  • Screen time
  • Peer interaction
  • School policy
What to do next:
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