Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
These days
people
argue that children should be banned from using their phones
during the school
day
. While
others believe that using phones
should be legal during the school
day
. This
essay will discuss both views.
Using phones
in recent years is necessary for many reasons. Young people
need to be allowed to using
their Wrong verb form
use
phones
to do research or connect with their families. For example
, a study at Harvard University shows that schools that allows
their Change the verb form
allow
students
to using
their Change the verb form
use
phones
during the school
day
have a higher band in final year study rather than schools that banned their students
from using phones
. In modern studies
Add a comma
studies,
students
need phones
to have effective learning.
On the other side, people
who say that schools should banned
using Change the verb form
ban
be banned
phones
they
think that because Correct pronoun usage
apply
phones
have many downsides for young people
. Although
they needs
Change the verb form
need
phones
to do some research or some tasks, that makes them distracting during the school
day
. For instance
, when I was in high school
, it
was allowed to use Correct pronoun usage
I
phones
in
specific times, but some Change preposition
at
students
started using their phones
just to watch movies or use social media. Using phones
have
two sides Correct subject-verb agreement
has
for
this
reason some families decline the idea of using phones
during the school
day
.
To sum up
, Using mobiles during school
days hes
two sides. Correct your spelling
has
This
essay discussed both views. In my opinion, there are many benefits to using phones
by children these days. That help
kids to improve their skills by doing research at Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
school
or finish
their homework in their free time at Wrong verb form
finishing
school
.Submitted by reem.b.albalawi on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and logical progression to enhance cohesion. Improve transitions between some sentences for better flow.
task achievement
Address more potential reasons for both sides of the argument to achieve a more complete response. Include more varied examples to strengthen arguments.
introduction conclusion present
You successfully introduced the topic and provided a balanced conclusion, outlining both views and your opinion on allowing phone use in schools.
complete response
Your essay covers the main points of the debate, showing a good understanding of the opposing views and demonstrating an ability to present a balanced argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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