IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The pie graph below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities ni which girls participate.

#show #survey #children #activities #first #leisure #boys #second #ni #girls
The
presented
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie graphs below
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 the
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 of a survey of children's
activities
. The first graph introduces the cultural and leisure
activities
 that males participate in.
Whereas the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 second graph presents
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about the
activities
 in which the females participate.
Overall
 In
boys
Change noun form
boy's
boys'
show examples
 Cultural and leisure
activities
Add a comma
activities,
show examples
 the most popular
one
 is Computer games with just around
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
third but for
females
Add a comma
females,
show examples
 the most popular
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
 is dancing. In the given pie chart there is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same number of people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 choose the
listening
Replace the word
listen
show examples
music
Change preposition
to music
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
cultural
Add an article
a cultural
show examples
festival
Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
show examples
 in both groups. Reading was not popular in
boy's
Correct article usage
the boy's
show examples
 group, only two
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 but
twenty
Add a hyphen
twenty-one
show examples
one
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
Correct article usage
the girls
show examples
girls
Change noun form
girls'
girl's
show examples
 group
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
interesred
Correct your spelling
interested
 in reading more than
Correct article usage
the boy's
show examples
boy's
Change noun form
boys
show examples
.
Furthermore
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
roughly
one quarter
Add a hyphen
one-quarter
show examples
 of boys
are liked
Wrong verb form
like
show examples
 to play basketball
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
festival
Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
show examples
. Taking
closing
Add an article
a closing
show examples
 look at the second chart fifteen
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of Female
children's
Unnecessary verb
children
show examples
 participate in Netball in cultural festival
activities
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, one with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "presented" was used 2 times.
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