In recent years virtual tourism including virtual reality tours,360 videos has emerged as an alternative form of travelling reshaping the way people explore destinations and connect with cultural heritage from afar .Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In the modern Era

due to

Linking Words

development

Correct article usage

the development

show examples

in computer technology travelling around the

world

Use synonyms

has changed .

Now a days

Correct the word

Nowadays

show examples

most

people

Use synonyms

prefer to see the places online

instead

Linking Words

of going

face

Use synonyms

face

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, I believe that

this

Linking Words

is a negative trend and

this

Linking Words

influence has more drawbacks and positives.

This

Linking Words

essay will elucidate both the

view points

Correct your spelling

viewpoints

show examples

in the impending Paragraphs. To commence with , let us delve deeper into the cons of

this

Linking Words

trend. First and Foremost, as we know most of the beautiful places around the

world

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solely rely on the Visitors Visit ,

therefore

Linking Words

when no person

will come

Wrong verb form

comes

show examples

there they

face

Use synonyms

financial

Correct article usage

a financial

show examples

crisis and

and

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

with

Change preposition

show examples

tourism

Correct article usage

the tourism

show examples

business fall

Change preposition

into

show examples

debt .

Subsequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend will increase the unemployment rate in that country .

For example

Linking Words

Add a comma

show examples

a Survey Conducted by

United

Correct article usage

the United

show examples

States Census

Bureu

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Bureau

in the

Usa

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USA

in year 2015 in Florida claims that in

Covid

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COVID-19

times when no flights and buses are

non opertational

Correct your spelling

non-operational

tourism industry

Change the verb form

faces

show examples

face

Use synonyms

milloins

Correct your spelling

millions

loss

Fix the agreement mistake

losses

show examples

because of

tourist

Fix the agreement mistake

tourists

show examples

stops

Wrong verb form

stopping

show examples

travelling .

Linking Words

Further more

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

show examples

, when an individual travels around the

world

Use synonyms

they can learn

new

Correct article usage

a new

show examples

culture and new language .To Elaborate more, as we see when any person

Change the verb form

goes

show examples

different

Add an article

the different

a different

show examples

world

Use synonyms

they interact with different community

people

Use synonyms

,they see

people

Use synonyms

using different

language

Fix the agreement mistake

languages

show examples

to speak more over they see country

cuture

Correct your spelling

culture

and tradition they enhance

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

knowledge about learning

new

Add an article

a new

show examples

culture .

Besides

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

,every new influence has its Pros and Cons . let us shed some light on

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

demerits.

firstly

Linking Words

, when a person

travel

Change the verb form

travels

show examples

visitor

Add an article

a visitor

show examples

to any place they have to take holidays from work ,

moreover

Linking Words

they spend big chunks of money on either flights or private

vehicle

Fix the agreement mistake

vehicles

show examples

Hence

Linking Words

,they spend

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

hard earned

Add a hyphen

hard-earned

show examples

money on travelling and

face

Use synonyms

financial crisis in their future life and some

people

Use synonyms

may

Add a missing verb

be on

show examples

the verge of losing jobs because of

high

Add an article

the high

a high

show examples

rate of unemployment . To encapsulate, it can

Change the verb form

be considered

show examples

considered

Change the form of the verb

consider

show examples

that not only tourist visit is beneficial for

livelihood

Add an article

the livelihood

show examples

tourism

Correct article usage

the tourism

show examples

business but

also

Linking Words

benefit

Replace the word

beneficial

show examples

for an individual to learn new culture and enhance their knowledge about new

tradition

Fix the agreement mistake

traditions

show examples

and

custom

Fix the agreement mistake

customs

show examples

of that country.

navdeepbajaj89

Oct 11, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Enhance your coherence by ensuring logical progression of ideas. Currently, the flow between points can be improved to avoid abrupt transitions.

task achievement

Develop your ideas further with more detailed examples and explanations. This will strengthen your arguments and make your response more comprehensive.

language

Work on reducing grammatical errors and simplifying sentence structures for clearer expression of ideas.

task achievement

Ensure a balanced view by giving equal attention to both pros and cons of virtual tourism.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly states the focus of the essay, setting a solid foundation for further discourse.

task achievement

The essay attempts to address both advantages and disadvantages, indicating an effort towards a balanced discussion.

task achievement

Relevant examples, such as the survey from the United States Census Bureau, are used to support points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

361 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

virtual reality
360 videos
cultural heritage
alternative form of traveling
cost-effective
accessible
democratize
far-off places
sensory experiences
preservation
over-tourism
environmental impact
carbon emissions
pollution
local economy

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In recent years virtual tourism including virtual reality tours,360 videos has emerged as an alternative form of travelling reshaping the way people explore destinations and connect with cultural heritage from afar .Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be outdoors after a particular time at night unless they are with an adult. What is your opinion about this?

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspective. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists and not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract local people? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Although it is generally illegal, physical punishment continues in many countries. Some argue that parents should have the right to punish their children in this way. Do you agree or disagree?