Some university student live at home with their family members during their studies, while in some nations student prefer to attend classes at another cities. those the advantage outweigh it disadvantage
Some university
student
live at home with their family members during their studies, Fix the agreement mistake
students
while
in some nations student
prefer to attend classes Fix the agreement mistake
students
at
Change preposition
in
another cities
. Living in other states Replace the adjective
another city
other cities
make
them more Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
indenpentent
and wider their knowledge ,Correct your spelling
independent
whereas
they have support
of family if they live with them .
I believe that Add an article
the support
Correct article usage
the advantage
advantage
of living without family outweigh the Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
disdvantage
.
Correct your spelling
disadvantage
disadvantages
To begin
with, student
become more responsible when they do study in another city because in other Fix the agreement mistake
students
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
thay
have to do everything by Correct your spelling
they
thereselves
. Correct your spelling
themselves
Likewise
, cooking washing
their clothes but, if Correct word choice
and washing
the
live with their family it will be done by their parents.Correct your spelling
they
For example
, international students in Canada are doing their daily chores by theirselves
. Correct your spelling
themselves
Moreover
,it increase
their Change the verb form
increases
knowlegde
level when they Correct your spelling
knowledge
pursuing
Wrong verb form
pursue
study
in other countries they can learn about the culture and Fix the agreement mistake
studies
costoms
of that countries. Correct your spelling
customs
As a result
, they can make friend
from that countries by knowing about their culture.
Add an article
a friend
On the other hand
, there are some disadvantages which cannot be overlooked,which is lack of support as when they live in urban cities far from their parents for their education if sometime
a Replace the word
sometimes
student
get
sick so, there is nobody who will take care of them. Change the verb form
gets
However
, if they live with their family they can take help from them. For instance
, indian
Change the capitalization
Indian
student
in Canada Fix the agreement mistake
students
they
do not have their parent with them when they get sick they take of themselves Correct pronoun usage
apply
as
manage their studies as well.Correct word choice
and
Therefore
,they suffered from homesickness.
In conclusion, although
there is a demerit of living far from the family for the education But
, there various Remove the conjunction
apply
benefit
of doing study in another area Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
such
as, student
become indenpentent
and learn new things which can not be denied .Correct your spelling
independent
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next. Use linking words consistently to connect ideas smoothly, helping the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples or evidence to support your points. This will help demonstrate the complexity of your ideas and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frames your argument well.
task achievement
The argument that independence gained by studying away from home outweighs the disadvantages is presented clearly, showing a solid attempt at critical thinking.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example