IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012

The graph below shows the percentage of Australian exports to 4 countries from 1990 to 2012
#percentage #australian #exports #countries
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The line graph shows the
informations
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information
pieces of information
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of
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on
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 exports in Australia to four different countries from 1990 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly observed that developed countries like Japan and
United
Correct article usage
the United
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states
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States
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 underwent
a downward trends
Correct the article-noun agreement
downward trends
a downward trend
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,
whereas
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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of
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apply
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the other two nations experienced an upward trend.
However
Linking Words
, it is interesting to note that
China
Use synonyms
 was the only
nations
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nation
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 that
show
Wrong verb form
showed
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most
Correct article usage
the most
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 prolific
exports
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export
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 figures among the others.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1990-2000, a closer at
a
Correct article usage
the
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 line chart in 1990
show
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shows
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 that Australia sent out their products to Japan the most at 27%, which was the highest percentage among all nations, followed by the United States at 12%,
China
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 and
India
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 at less than 5%,
While
Linking Words
 the United state figures
were fluctuated
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fluctuated
have fluctuated
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,
China
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 and
India
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 gradual rise. From 2000 onwards, it is noticeable that
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China
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China's
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 export figures exponentially grew over
a decades
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a decade
decades
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 and reached
its peaks
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their peak
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 at 30% in 2012.
While
Linking Words
 export statistics to America in 2000 was roughly sixfold of
India
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, at 12% and 6%, respectively, the trends shifted 10 years later. Notably, the percentages of goods shipped to
India
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 outnumbered that of the state at 8% before
overtaken
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being overtaken
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 by America
2
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at 2
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% fewer in 2012, at 6%. Unlike Japan, their numbers remained stable at around 18-19%.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words china, india with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
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