IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well practical programs. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
In
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign
Use synonyms
language speaking
Add a hyphen
language-speaking
show examples
 countries, it is difficult for
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 to survive, and
this
Linking Words
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to social and practical problems. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, because of
Use synonyms
language
Add an article
the language
show examples
 barrier it is difficult
Fix the infinitive
to perfrom
show examples
perfrom
Correct your spelling
perform
 daily tasks.
Whereas
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 very challenging for
person
Add an article
a person
show examples
in getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
 without knowing
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
It is very difficult for anyone to do their day
today
Correct your spelling
to day
show examples
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 with
Use synonyms
language
Add an article
the language
a language
show examples
 barrier. At
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 of
grocries
Correct your spelling
grocery
 shopping if they
can't
Verb problem
aren't
show examples
 able to communicate properly with
Correct article usage
the shopkeeper
show examples
shopkeeper
Add a comma
shopkeeper,
show examples
 it will
problematic
Add a missing verb
be problematic
show examples
 for both of them,
this
Linking Words
 may lead to
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 wrong
product
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
: country like Germany where its national
language
Use synonyms
 is
german
Capitalize word
German
show examples
, all shop
banner
Fix the agreement mistake
banners
show examples
 and sign
board
Fix the agreement mistake
boards
show examples
 are in
german
Capitalize word
German
show examples
, information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 public transport and
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
account opening you have to go to
bank
Add an article
the bank
a bank
show examples
 and all banks
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
work in
german
Capitalize word
German
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, finding
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
a foregin
show examples
foregin
Correct your spelling
foreign
 without knowing their
language
Use synonyms
 is very difficult.
Beside
Correct your spelling
Besides
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your
techincal
Correct your spelling
technical
 skill if can't able to properly communicate with
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
colleague
Fix the agreement mistake
colleagues
show examples
this
Linking Words
 may lead to improper development of
Use synonyms
product
Add an article
the product
a product
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
: in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 job
likes
Wrong verb form
like
show examples
 sales where you have to explain sell
product
Use synonyms
 by explain it to
client
Add an article
the client
a client
show examples
, without having proper
language
Use synonyms
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 he can't able to sell
Use synonyms
product
Add an article
a product
the product
show examples
.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, I
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
,
if
Correct word choice
that if
show examples
 any individual wants
living
Change the verb form
to live
show examples
 in
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 he should learn
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 at least at
basic
Add an article
a basic
the basic
show examples
 level. It will help him to do their basic daily tasks. And with
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 level of
language
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
skill
Add a comma
skill,
show examples
 he will end up
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
getting
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 paid job.

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task achievement
To enhance your task achievement score, try to support your points with more detailed examples. Elaborate further on how language barriers impact job opportunities and daily tasks, possibly by discussing different scenarios or real-life examples.
task achievement
Ensure that you address both social and practical problems in a more balanced manner. You focused more on the practical difficulties.
coherence cohesion
Work on your coherence by structuring your paragraphs more logically. Start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence for each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Improve your cohesion by better utilizing linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. This will ensure that your essay reads more fluidly.
introduction conclusion present
You provided a clear introduction that identifies your position on the topic, and a conclusion that summarizes your points effectively.
logical structure
Your essay is segmented into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a distinct aspect of the issue, which aids in understanding your main arguments.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • language barrier
  • social isolation
  • integration difficulties
  • essential services
  • cultural nuances
  • societal norms
  • misunderstandings
  • language learning
  • adaptation skills
  • digital tools
  • community support
  • practical difficulties
  • employment opportunities
  • enriching experience
  • communication challenges
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