The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie chart illustrates where
dance
courses are being held, and the bar chart gives information about the number of young people categorized in 2 divided age brackets, currently attending
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different types of
dance
classes
, including ballet, tap and modern in a particular town in Australia.
Overall
, private studios are the most popular locations among youngsters.
In addition
, individuals under 11 are mostly attracted to ballet
classes
,
while
modern courses are more interesting for juveniles from 11 to 16 years old. Looking at the details, private studios
comprises
Change the verb form
comprise
show examples
about half of the locations of
dance
classes
, the most among all. The figure for
schools
Change the noun form
school
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halls and community halls and others are 24% and 18%, respectively.
While
only one-fifth of times
college based
Add a hyphen
college-based
show examples
studios are being used, marking it the least popular among all. Regarding types of
dance
classes
,
while
ballet is the most common among participants under 11 with about 600 attendances, older ones from 11 to 16 years old prefer modern
dance
classes
with just over 500 participants. These
to
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
show almost similar interest when it comes to tap
dance
courses.
Submitted by ava.saljoughi on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words dance, classes with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • attending
  • currently
  • location
  • variety
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • jazz
  • venues
  • popularity
  • attendees
  • juxtaposing
  • correlating
  • proximity
  • cultural influences
  • trends
  • anomalies
  • monopoly
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • enrollment
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