The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#information #location #dance #classes #people #town #australia #summarise #features #comparisons

The

given

Verb problem

apply

show examples

pie chart illustrates where

dance

courses are being held, and the bar chart gives information about the number of young people categorized in 2 divided age brackets, currently attending

Change preposition

apply

show examples

different types of

dance

classes

, including ballet, tap and modern in a particular town in Australia.

Overall

, private studios are the most popular locations among youngsters.

In addition

, individuals under 11 are mostly attracted to ballet

classes

while

modern courses are more interesting for juveniles from 11 to 16 years old. Looking at the details, private studios

comprises

Change the verb form

comprise

show examples

about half of the locations of

dance

classes

, the most among all. The figure for

schools

Change the noun form

school

show examples

halls and community halls and others are 24% and 18%, respectively.

While

only one-fifth of times

college based

Add a hyphen

college-based

show examples

studios are being used, marking it the least popular among all. Regarding types of

dance

classes

while

ballet is the most common among participants under 11 with about 600 attendances, older ones from 11 to 16 years old prefer modern

dance

classes

with just over 500 participants. These

Correct your spelling

two

show examples

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

show almost similar interest when it comes to tap

dance

courses.

Submitted by ava.saljoughi on Sat Oct 12 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words dance, classes with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

185 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

attending
currently
location
variety
ballet
hip-hop
contemporary
jazz
venues
popularity
attendees
juxtaposing
correlating
proximity
cultural influences
trends
anomalies
monopoly
proportion
distribution
enrollment

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The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Writing, reading and maths are the three recognized traditional subjects. Computer skill should also be the fourth largest branch. Do you agree or disagree?

Many societies are full of pollution. Why is this? How to solve? And give opinion

An increasing number of larger shopping areas, malls and department stores are leading to the decline of smaller corner shops. what are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in larger shopping centers rather than smaller, more traditional shops?

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or dis agree.

Some people think that it's easier for adults to learn skills (Ex: Computer skills) by themselves. Others think they need the help of a teacher in a classroom. Discuss both views and give your opinion as well.