IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

All university students should do some voluntary work to help the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #students #work #community
Some people hold a belief that engaging in
voluntareering
Correct your spelling
volunteering
activity
 is an obligation with all
students
 in
university
Add an article
the university
a university
show examples
. In my opinion, I believe that voluntary
work
 brings certain benefits to
students
 and society but there exists some rationales that these activities should be optional. On the one hand,
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
volunteering
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 have
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
show examples
 advantages for
students
. The first reason is that
students
 can have rewarding
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 owing to the meaningful things when they volunteer.
Furthermore
, the youths could improve their social responsibility and build up their CV. The candidates with
extra
Add an article
the extra
show examples
 curriculum
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to be impressed by headhunters of enterprises
due to
 their
activeveness
Correct your spelling
activeness
 and
helfulness
Correct your spelling
helpfulness
 for society.
As a result
,
students
 could have more job opportunities and better career
prospect
Fix the agreement mistake
prospects
show examples
. Another reason is that volunteering
activity
 engagement may provide a huge workforce for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
work
,
therefore
, it contributes to
decrease
Add an article
the decrease
a decrease
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 national
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
. Thanks to the volunteers helping doing social
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
such
 as cleaning streets or collecting
garbages
Correct subject-verb agreement
garbage
show examples
, the government can save money for investing in other important needs.
On the other hand
, there exists certain drawbacks that not all
students
 can do volunteering
work
 obligationally. First of all, some
students
 are not having enough physical health to participate in voluntary
activity
.
For instance
, the youths who have to suffer from heart
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 can not do burden activities or stay outside under the sun for a long time.
Secondly
, if
students
 spend most of
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
volunteering, they
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 not have enough time for studying, one of the most important duties when they
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 in
university
Add an article
the university
a university
show examples
. It could lead to pressure
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
students
 and they might be distracted from their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
Hence
, their study and academic results will
be gone
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 down gradually.
Lastly
, forcing all
students
engaging
Wrong verb form
to engage in
show examples
 volunteering
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
show examples
 against the natural meaning of volunteering. A must of doing voluntary
work
 might reduce
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
 of
goodess
Correct your spelling
goodness
goods
 because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
volunteering comes from
heart
Add an article
the heart
show examples
 in genuine. In conclusion,
while
 I accept that participating in voluntary
work
 brings about
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 variety of benefits for both
students
 and
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 community, I
also
 assume that it is impossible to
impose
Verb problem
allow
show examples
 all
students
volunteer
Fix the infinitive
to volunteer
show examples
.
Submitted by ng.hg.ly28 on

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writing
Try to minimize grammatical errors and spelling mistakes to improve clarity and professionalism.
writing
Ensure that the reasoning in your arguments is fully developed and presents a clear stance on the topic.
cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices effectively to guide the reader through your arguments clearly.
structure
The introduction presents a clear topic statement and outlines your stance on the issue.
structure
The essay contains an organized conclusion which sums up the arguments effectively.
task response
You present a balanced discussion with reasonable arguments for both sides of the issue.

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