IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the number of tourists visiting Country X from various parts of the world and the table displays the income of different businesses in the nation in 2007 and 2008.

The bar chart shows the number of tourists visiting Country X from various parts of the world and the table displays the income of different businesses in the nation in 2007 and 2008.
#bar #tourists #country #x #parts #world #displays #income #businesses #nation
The bar chart represents the number of foreign tourists in thousands that visit a
country
 in the
year
 2007 and 2008.
Additionally
, the table illustrates the
income
 of various businesses in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 and Canada in those years. In the
year
 2007, Canada and
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 had more than 2000 thousand tourists visiting the
country
 and Hotel and Resort businesses had the most
Income
.
However
, in the upcoming
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
 the
country
 witnessed the wildest reduction in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of tourists who visited the
country
 and
Hotel
Correct article usage
the Hotel
show examples
 and Resort industry
had been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 drastically impacted, earning just more than "Transportation & Travel agent" businesses.
Though
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, there had been a decrease in the revenue of each business. Tour Guides, Vendors, and Other service providers had not been significantly impacted by the change. Their annual
income
 dropped to 1.1
million
dollars
 from 1.4
million
dollars
. Restaurants, Bars and Souvenir
shops
Change noun form
shop's
shops'
show examples
 annual
income
reduced
Add a missing verb
was reduced
show examples
 to 1.2
million
dollars
 from 2.4
million
dollars
, which is
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
half of their
income
 in the
year
 2007.
Submitted by gurvirsingh.baraich on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words country, year, income, million, dollars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: