Most manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is argued that government would have a chance to invest it in many significant occasions.
tariff
on junk Fix the agreement mistake
tariffs
food
should be levied because the health risks associated with consuming this
kind of product are rising. This
essay agrees that a higher rate of money should be paid by people. Firstly
, some companies already increased the prices of their sugar containing
products; Add a hyphen
sugar-containing
secondly
, the
higher Correct article usage
a
the
price could lower Correct article usage
apply
concumption
.
Correct your spelling
consumption
To begin
with, if almost all companies paid taxes to the government for selling the sugared products,Add an article
the
Therefore
, they would be capable to ensure
tuition organised by clubs where doctors can explain how sugar destroys our Change preposition
of ensuring
organism
and Fix the agreement mistake
organisms
to
help Fix the infinitive
apply
for
people who suffer from diseases caused Change preposition
apply
after
Change preposition
by
concuming
oversweet Correct your spelling
consuming
food
. Obviously, it might be reliable
approach to prevent Add an article
a reliable
obessity
and Correct your spelling
obesity
diabet
. Correct your spelling
diabetes
For instance
, New Zeeland's
government always carry out lessons with teenagers in schools using collected taxes from companies in the territory of Correct your spelling
Zealand's
this
country whereas
in Germany the percentage of humans suffering from obessity
Correct your spelling
obesity
have
already decreased by 20% as most of them had problems with money.
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
Moreover
, raising prices would lower consumption humans would not like to buy sickly drink
and Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
food
that cost
expensive because Verb problem
are
instead
of this
they can buy something healthy or have proper meal
in restaurants. Addiction to sugar might be prevented in Fix the agreement mistake
meals
this
way, as sweet food
would soon become a luxury item, and it would only be consumed occasionally, which would be less harmful to the general public’s health. For instance
, the cost of organic food
has proven prohibitively expensive for most individuals, and that is
why only a small percentage of the population buys it regularly.
In conclusion, junk food
should be taxed at a higher rate because of the good precedent set by oversweet nutriments and the fact that the increased cost should reduce the number of fast-
Correct your spelling
fast food
food
people buy.Submitted by nurali_serik on
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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, try to provide more specific examples that clearly illustrate your points, rather than hypothetical or generalized examples.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clearly and comprehensively articulated, as at times the expression seems vague or broad. This will help in making your argument stronger.
task achievement
Work on improving grammatical accuracy to ensure clarity, especially in complex sentences, even though minor errors do not significantly impact the overall message.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, ensure that all parts of your essay are logically connected. Consider using transitional phrases or linking words more frequently to connect your ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument effectively and contribute to a coherent structure.
coherence cohesion
Arguments are supported with reasons, and you appropriately address different aspects of the topic, such as taxation and its impact on consumption.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported, and there is a logical progression from one point to the next, illustrating good cohesion throughout the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?