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Band 6.5

The graph below shows how people buy music. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below shows how people buy music. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#people #music #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The provided line graph depicts the purchase of various sorts of music from 2011 to 2018 years. Units are measured in fractions. Proportion. From an
overall
 perspective, it is readily apparent that
in
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apply
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at the beginning of
given
Correct article usage
the given
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 period
streams
 were the least popular kind of music,
nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
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 the situation drastically changed, in at the end of the
designed
Replace the word
design
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 span
this
 product became the
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
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 one for consumers.
Whereas
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Meanwhile,
Correct article usage
the
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preferences of
for
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apply
show examples
customers for CD
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
show examples
 and downloads steadily declined. In 2011 the proportion of
CD
Fix the agreement mistake
CDs
show examples
 purchased was
on
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at
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peak
Add an article
the peak
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 of popularity and reached above 50
percents
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percent
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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whereas
 downloads stayed roughly at 35 and
streams
was
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were
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represented / constituted a tiny fraction.
According to
 the line graph, Downloaded music steadily increased by 2014 and reached roughly (about/approximately ) 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, from
the
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apply
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2015 there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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unexpected
Correct article usage
an unexpected
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 decline( % / numbers?????) till
the
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apply
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2018. Indices of
streams
 and purchased CDs changed steadily (do not repeat the same
words=
Correct your spelling
words
steadily =moderately )but
in
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on
show examples
 opposite sides, when
streams
 went upwards and reached above 40 portions per cent CDs declined and
in
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apply
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at the end
 of
given
Correct article usage
the given
show examples
 period reached the point near the quarter. Accounting for a quarter.
Submitted by nairaaliyarova on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words streams with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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