IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that using a bicycle as main from of transportation has a lot of advantages, whereas others think that it has many disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #bicycle #transportation
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Some people think that using a
bicycle
Use synonyms
 as a primary mode of
transportation
Use synonyms
 has a lot of benefits,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that it has a lot of drawbacks. I personally believe that
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
bicycle
Add an article
the bicycle
a bicycle
show examples
 is an environment-friendly vehicle, it is not a suitable transport option to
travel
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 everywhere. The first advantage of
Use synonyms
bicycle
Add an article
a bicycle
the bicycle
show examples
 is it is an environment-friendly transport.
Use synonyms
Bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
Bicycles
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 does not need fuel,
therefore
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, it emits zero
carbon-dioxide
Correct your spelling
carbon dioxide
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.
Consequently
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, it does not cause any harm to the environment. As
bicycle
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 helps to reduce carbon emissions worldwide, many countries become interested in increasing the use of
Use synonyms
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
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 as a mode of
transportation
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.
For example
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, Canada, in 2020, declared
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bicycle
Correct article usage
the bicycle
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 as the best eco-friendly vehicle
of
Change preposition
in
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 the country because it does not emit
carbon-dioxide
Correct your spelling
carbon dioxide
show examples
.
However
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, I personally believe that
Use synonyms
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
 is not appropriate to
travel
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 everywhere.
Bicycle
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 is not beneficial as an only
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
 of
transportation
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.
Use synonyms
Bicycle
Add an article
A bicycle
The bicycle
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 does not have
any
Correct determiner usage
an
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 engine, and it is not capable
to
Change preposition
of traveling
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travel
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 a long distance. When the public
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 to
travel
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 a long distance,
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bicycle
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the bicycle
a bicycle
show examples
 is not a suitable option. In fact, for our daily
travel
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,
bicycle
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 is not appropriate because we have to
travel
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 at least 4 to 5 kilometers
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. Riding
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bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
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 is not
apprpriate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
 for
this
Linking Words
. It is only suitable for afternoon riding.
For example
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, people ride on
Use synonyms
bicycle
Add an article
a bicycle
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 in the afternoon as a part of their physical exercise.
Therefore
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, I believe that as a mode of everyday
transportation
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,
Use synonyms
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 do not have any use. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 environment-friendly because of zero carbon emissions.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
bicycle
Add an article
the bicycle
a bicycle
show examples
 is not a suitable option for everyday
commute
Fix the agreement mistake
commutes
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 because it is not capable of travelling a long distance.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Make sure to include a more balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages to achieve a comprehensive response to the task.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your argument and to illustrate points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between ideas to enhance the flow and coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Introduce clearer topic sentences in paragraphs to better guide the reader through your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines the main points of both views and states your personal opinion, providing a good starting point for the essay.
logical structure
The essay maintains a logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your argumentation.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed, providing a clear closure to the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • motorized vehicles
  • traffic congestion
  • cost-effective
  • sense of community
  • harsh weather conditions
  • road accidents
  • physical disabilities
  • sustainable practices
  • health benefits
  • infrastructure
  • feasible option
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