Childood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsilbility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?
#childood #obesity #australia #two #thirds #children #schools #responsilbility #students #amount #exercise
in the present world, the number of
children
who are obese is increasing tremendously in Australia which is rather over a quarter of children
's rate. Schools
are in charge of observing ethier
students' diets and the amount of their physical activities. I readily agree that it is Correct your spelling
their
schools
' duty to prevent children
from eating unhealthy food
and being inactive.
Having lived in the city, children
may suffer from a great deal of diseases which are not easy to cure such
as obesity. when children
attend school, they might spend at least half of their time there. Thus
, it is too dangerous for them unless they are forced to eat junk food
during school time. Instead
of providing unhealthy food
to children
, they should be given healthy food
in canteens and buffets. To illustrate, Chips and puffs should not be allowed to be eaten because they are more likely to spoil children
's appetites.
In addition
, because of the city lifestyle, students' lives have turned out to be sedentary, meaning that they may lead a life without any physical activities, triggering them to stay home in order to sleep or watch television. However
, they can be monitored by the authorities, thanks to classes with regard to sports, and in this
way, they can kill two birds with one stone. In other words
, not only do they attend schools
to learn new skills, but they are also
being taught to do physical activities.
To conclude
, obesity turns out to be problematic for children
in Australia. I am of the firm belief that schools
are responsible for preventing the increase in the obesity rate in children
by restricting the usage of junk food
and obliging them to exercise so they would have healthier lifestyles.Submitted by sahar.moti1994 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
relevant specific examples
Try to further elaborate on the example provided about limiting unhealthy food in school cafeterias. Providing specific examples of healthy alternatives or successful programs in Australian schools could enhance the point.
complete response
Include a brief discussion on the potential challenges or counterarguments regarding schools' responsibility in managing students' diet and exercise. Addressing these can strengthen the overall argument.
introduction conclusion present
The essay clearly introduces the topic and presents a firm stance on the issue, which helps guide the reader through the argument.
logical structure
The logical flow between the causes of childhood obesity and the school's responsibility is clear and easy to follow, contributing to coherence and cohesion.
supported main points
The essay successfully raises the issue of sedentary lifestyles and links it to the need for schools to implement physical activities, providing a balanced argument.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!