IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below shows current health expenditure totals as percentages of GDP* for various European countries for the years 2002, 2007 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. * GDP (Gross Domestic Product) is the total value of goods that are made and services that are provided in a country.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below shows current health expenditure totals as percentages of GDP* for various European countries for the years 2002, 2007 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. * GDP (Gross Domestic Product) is the total value of goods that are made and services that are provided in a country.
#minutes #bar #health #expenditure #percentages #gdp* #european #countries #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons #gdp #product #value #goods #services #country
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The bar chart illustrates the percentage of
health
 spending of Gross Domestic Product (GDP) in twelve European countries in 2002, 2007, and 2012. At first
glance
Add a comma
glance,
show examples
 it is evident that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Switzerland has the highest
health
expenditure
 fraction of Gross Domestic Product,
while
 Estonia ranked
last
 on the percentage of spending. Specifically, we can split the countries into two
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 baseline of 8% of
expenditure
.
As a result
, Switzerland, Slovenia, Norway, The Netherlands, France, Denmark, and Belgium are countries that ever reach 8% of
health
expenditure
. Switzerland constantly recorded 11% of
expenditure
, making them
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 country with the highest percentage of GDP spending on
health
.
On the other hand
, France ever
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 11% of
expenditure
 in 2007, but the number decreased
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 9% in 2012. Meanwhile, The Netherlands had a gradual decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
health
 spending from 10% in 2002 to 8% in 2012.
In contrast
, Estonia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Poland, and Spain had never got more than 8% of spending. Estonia placed
last
 for a constant 3% portion of GDP to
health
expenditure
. Interestingly, Lithuania and Poland
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 a gradual increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
expenditure
 until
finish
Wrong verb form
finished
show examples
 at 6% and 7% respectively in 2012.
Submitted by azkaalazkiya97 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words health, expenditure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • - Current health expenditure: The amount of money spent on healthcare services and products at present.
  • - Percentage of GDP: The proportion of the Gross Domestic Product (the total value of goods and services produced in a country) allocated to health expenditure.
  • - Main features: The most important characteristics or aspects.
  • - Overall: In general; considering everything.
  • - Surpassed: Exceeded; went beyond.
  • - Decline: A decrease or reduction.
  • - Fluctuation: An irregular rise and fall; variation.
  • - Comparisons: The act of examining similarities and differences between two or more things.
  • - Largest increase: The greatest growth or rise.
  • - Most fluctuation: The highest degree of variation or instability.
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