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Band 6.5

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.
The following pie chart illustrates the location of
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 and the graph displays the types of
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 that are attended by two age groups of young people in a town located in Australia. At first glance, it is evident that most
classes
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 are held in private studios. Another interesting point is that
while
Linking Words
 most under 11 years old kids are attending ballet
classes
Use synonyms
, most 11 to 16-year-olds
prefers
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefer
show examples
 modern
dance
Use synonyms
classes
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. Looking at the details of the pie chart, private studios are the most used locations for
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 with 48%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, 24% of
dance
Use synonyms
classes
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 are held in
schools
Change the noun form
school
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 halls after school hours. The least used locations are community halls and other,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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college-based studios with 18% and 10%, respectively. Taking a closer look at the bar chart,
Ballet
Correct article usage
the Ballet
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dance
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 class is the most famous one among under 11 years old children with approximately 600 participants, followed by
Tap
Correct article usage
the Tap
show examples
dance
Use synonyms
 class with over 400 students. The
number
Use synonyms
 of under 11 year-olds who are attending modern
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 is 300, which is the smallest
number
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, compared to other
classes
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. In terms of 11 to
16-years old
Correct your spelling
16-year-old
 students, the largest
number
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 of them are going to modern
dance
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classes
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 with over 500 people.
In addition
Linking Words
, the fans of Tap
dance
Use synonyms
classes
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 are 400 people.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of 11
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
16 -
Change preposition
to year-olds
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year-olds
Correct your spelling
16-year-olds
 who are participating
ballet
Change preposition
in ballet
show examples
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 is as much as the
number
Use synonyms
 of under 11-year-olds who are involved in modern
classes
Use synonyms
 with 300.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words dance, classes, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • attendance
  • community centers
  • dance schools
  • private studios
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • ballroom
  • analysis
  • popularity
  • accessibility
  • cost
  • cultural trends
  • media influences
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