In some areas of the United States, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Late hours
Add a hyphen
Late-hours
show examples
activities are widely popular among juveniles so in some
unites
Replace the word
units
show examples
in America it has been forbidden or they should be
along with
their supervisors. Recently, it has been a controversial issue whether imposing
curfew
Add an article
a curfew
show examples
on teens
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a good idea or not.
This
essay will express my positive orientation towards
this
statement and elaborate on it extensively. Looking from
criminal
Add an article
a criminal
show examples
perspective, the first and potential reason for
curfew
is preventing juveniles from being exposed to criminals. To put it differently, nights,
due to
their
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
show examples
atmosphere and
also
free streets from people, provide a good opportunity to be sacrificed by criminals,
such
as muggers;
consequently
, teenagers are far
likely
Correct quantifier usage
more likely
show examples
threatened with bullying and kidnapping.
However
, it is undeniable that
this
aspect is true for other people even for powerful man too. In
this
regard, not being
outdoor
Replace the word
outdoors
show examples
just is in vain and unreasonable. All in all,
this
reason cannot underpin the
curfew
. In terms of human
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
, forbidding teens from being
outdoor
Replace the word
outdoors
show examples
at a certain time restricts their autonomy. It is psychologically proven that 15-to-18-year-old minors try to establish their personal boundaries and gain independence, so restriction would damage their delicate emotions and spirits.
Besides
, it is better to enlighten them about the outside dangers and let them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
face these challenges
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
their own to be prepared for future issues.
For example
, if teens are forbidden from being outside at late hours, they will have problems with their night-shift jobs because they feel unsafe and cannot work efficiently. In conclusion,
curfew
lately is argued to be imposed on teenagers. Despite the fact that it could be beneficial in some aspects, namely
eliminate
Wrong verb form
eliminating
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crimes, the
curfew
affects negatively children's personalities, particularly their confidence when they grow up.
As a result
, imposing is not a good idea, not being outside late can be
culturalized
Correct your spelling
naturalized
through
educating
Replace the word
education
show examples
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to strengthen your argument by using more specific examples or studies that support your main points. This can make your argument more persuasive and provide depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more varied linking words and cohesive devices to enhance the flow between your ideas. This can help in making the transitions between paragraphs and sentences smoother.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear stance on the topic, indicating your opinion early on and elaborating it throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
You have made a good attempt at structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: