Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #technology

These days it is easily apparent that technology is facing some developments and it is becoming widely in use in many activities

such

as shopping, advertising and communicating.

This

process has changed many

lives

and it has made it easier for some

people

whereas

some

people

disagree with

this

thesis.

This

essay is going to discuss both positive and negative views. On the one hand, on

negative

Add an article

the negative

show examples

side, what makes

people

say that shopping by technology has become easier is that younger generations and

also

middle-aged

people

can learn fast and soon become adapted

Change preposition

show examples

the sequences.

However

elder

Change preposition

in elder

show examples

people

, because of

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

their

brain-cells

Correct your spelling

brain-cell

show examples

function,

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not as same as

their

Change preposition

in their

show examples

younger days.

Consequently

, their learning process is slower.

Furthermore

the

Change the word

their

show examples

lives

are moving forward

this

way so they are in too

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

difficulties

instead

of chilling and enjoying their peace. All in all, they cannot work with online shops well.

On the other hand

, the aspects of

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

changes are seen in many

people

’s daily

lives

. To be more specific, teenagers do buy their clothes or their shoes or some products from some online shops on Instagram or sites

such

as “Amazon.com”.

In addition

, for the adults who are in some situations which don’t have the time to go in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

person, those who have some disabilities and aren’t able to leave their house, or is difficult for them, these developments helped them to do it by themselves and don’t be in need of anyone’s help. In conclusion, there are both positive and negative comments on

this

thesis statement. Over and above that,

merits

Correct article usage

the merits

show examples

of these changes outweigh the downfalls. So,

beside

Replace the word

besides

show examples

the

elders

Add a comma

elders,

show examples

it is a big help to other

community

Fix the agreement mistake

communities

show examples

. If I want to side with any points of view, I would say

lives

have become undemanding by the use of technology.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun Oct 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on creating more logical transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. This will help your ideas connect more smoothly and improve the overall coherence.

task achievement

Try to clearly address the specific aspects of technology that make shopping easier or harder for different groups of people. This will help clarify your position and achievements in task response.

task achievement

While you have relevant examples, further development of these examples with more specific details can enhance your task response score.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, which helps frame the essay effectively.

task achievement

The essay provides a complete response by discussing both sides of the debate and offering a personal opinion.

task achievement

Examples about technology use in shopping, such as mentioning Instagram or Amazon, are specific and relevant to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

online marketplaces
mobile payment options
personalized advertising
accessibility
compare prices
decision fatigue
impulse buying
financial imprudence
privacy and data security
transformed
streamlined
user-friendly

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Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countires, owning a house rather than renting one is very important for people

in many counties, people now wear western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.