Some people are of the view that only university education can ensure success, whereas many others oppose this view. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is often argued that the only path to prosperity is through academia. Whilst
this
is a very popular notion, I am completely set against it. In this
essay
I will express my reasons in the impending paragraphs.
Add a comma
essay,
To begin
with, there are numerous reasons for that. Primarily, in this
economy you do not necessarily have to have a university degree to win a job
oppurtunity
. If you look at different groups of people in Correct your spelling
opportunity
thid
society, it is absolutely evident that successful people come from all walks of life. Correct your spelling
this
For instance
, the former president in
my country had only finished Change preposition
of
the
elementary education. What is more, the owners of big companies Correct article usage
apply
such
as Apple or Tesla can be mentioned who do not have high academic accomplishments. Ultimately, it is possible to be qualified for a job
with other kinds of qualifications or working experience.
Further
, it is noteworthy that most of
employers prioritize experiences and soft skills to educational background in a person’s resume. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, I myself had the same experience. I had been trying to find a suitable job
for months but the recruitors
kept rejecting me. Correct your spelling
recruiters
recruiter
Then
I put some time learning
some practical skills and the result was much more satisfying. Change preposition
into learning
This
is rational as employers look for staff that are handy and useful and are able to adjust themselves quickly in a working atmosphere.
To conclude
, unlike what many believe, education is not the only way to become successful. It is due to
the fact that practical skills take precedence and it is not essential to have a degree in order to find a job
these days anymore.Submitted by ad8334480 on
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task achievement
Ensure the essay fully addresses both view points equally before presenting your own opinion, giving a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the conclusion by restating both sides of the argument briefly alongside your own view.
language
Pay attention to small language inaccuracies, such as spelling mistakes ('oppurtunity' should be 'opportunity') and use of 'recruiters' instead of 'recruitors'.
coherence cohesion
The introduction successfully sets the stage for the essay and clearly states your position, providing a good start to your discussion.
task achievement
The essay provides solid examples to support your views, such as referencing well-known company owners and personal experiences with job search, enhancing task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Good use of transitional terms and phrases, like 'To begin with', 'Primarily', and 'Further', helps maintain a logical flow and coherence.
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