You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree? You should write at least 254 words.

#minutes #people #media #coverage #celebrities #effect #children

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Nowadays media covers many things that are happening with famous

people

Use synonyms

wrong

Add an article

the wrong

a wrong

show examples

way, many

people

Use synonyms

believe it has a negative

affect

Correct your spelling

effect

show examples

on young

people

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay completely agrees with the statement and will give a reasonable conclusion. There are two vital effects which can affect youngsters. To commence, when celebrities or news are covered, they make children focus more on social media

instead

Linking Words

of their studies

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

. Students

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

become obsessed with everything famous

people

Use synonyms

do, they watch every post in every app they use and they turn the

notification

Fix the agreement mistake

notifications

show examples

on so they don't be late for their posts.

Consequently

Linking Words

, students

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

absent

for

Change preposition

from

show examples

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

school, do not study for their exams and neglect their assignments.

For instance

Linking Words

, teenagers who like Taylor Swift signer are waiting for her

song

Fix the agreement mistake

songs

show examples

to drop at 9 AM,

instead

Linking Words

of going to school and

listen

Wrong verb form

listening

show examples

to the song after coming back they

chose

Wrong verb form

choose

show examples

to be absent so they can enjoy it on time.

In addition

Linking Words

, children can spend a large amount of money to be like their loved ones. They buy from celebrities brand even if the item does not

suits

Change the verb form

suit

show examples

them, and

buying

Wrong verb form

buy

show examples

everything the famous person

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

This

Linking Words

put

Wrong verb form

puts

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

pressure on parents who trying to make their kids happy. they

are

Change the verb form

are also worn

are also wearing

show examples

also

Linking Words

wear like those stars and make hair cuts like them and match their act.

This

Linking Words

effect

Correct your spelling

affects

show examples

their mental health in

not

Add an article

a not

show examples

noted way.

For example

Linking Words

, kids are being lonely because of

overuse

Correct article usage

the overuse

show examples

of technology

while

Linking Words

they are watching all

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

happen in

media

Correct article usage

the media

show examples

. In conclusion, parents should be aware of the

affects

Replace the word

effects

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

what celebrities can

drag

Verb problem

have on

show examples

their children, it

is impact

Wrong verb form

impacts

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

lifetimes and daily tasks.

Moreover

Linking Words

, making them

to be

Verb problem

apply

show examples

overspending

Replace the word

overspend

show examples

and

destroy

Correct subject-verb agreement

destroys

show examples

their healthcare.

A good

Correct article usage

Good

show examples

knowledge

protect

Change the verb form

protects

show examples

kids from many harms.

Submitted by danall1kat on Sun Oct 13 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Consider organizing ideas more clearly and logically. For example, present each main idea in a separate paragraph and provide clear transitions between ideas. This will help improve the logical flow of your essay.

Task Achievement

Try to elaborate further on your ideas to make them clearer and more comprehensive. This can involve adding more specific explanations or reasoning behind each point you make.

Coherence & Cohesion

Make sure each paragraph fully supports your main points and is well-connected to your thesis statement. Use topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph.

Task Achievement

The essay provides a clear stance and conclusion on the topic, which shows a strong attempt at addressing the task response.

Task Achievement

Examples given, such as references to Taylor Swift, help illustrate your points and make the essay more engaging.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

298 words

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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Many people believe that media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children. To what extent do you agree? You should write at least 254 words.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries around the world men and women tend to have their children later in life. Why this happened? What are the effects on society and family life?

smacking children is the best form of discipline. To what extent do you agree or diagree?

nowdays, many people choose to be self- employes, rather than to work for a company or organaisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self employed?