Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians, or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?
It is believed by some
people
that entertainers
like actors, pop singers, or stars from sports etc, are paid a lot of money. I completely agree with this
statement. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will discuss the reasons behind this
and also
cover the other fields of jobs that also
require high pay.
To commence with, the entertainers
paid a high amount of money because of their talent. In other words
, not everyone dares to face the camera or people
, this
can be done by only those people
, who have some kind of talent or passion. For example
, the prime minister of any country
can not make any film because he does not possess those type of ability to act. That is
why entertainers
get paid highly. Another reason is that they do work
hard. It is not everyone's cup of tea to make anyone laugh with their actions or feel relaxed with their music. Some entertainers
do a lot of hard work
to make us laugh and also
to win for their countries. For example
, let us take cricket, the team represents the country
on an international level, and winning the game requires them to work
hard. So, In my opinion, if they do get a large amount of pay then
I guess they are worth it.
However
, there are also
some jobs on which the government has to pay attention. First of all, the job of nursing. Many nurses, ward boys, etc. do not get the good pay that they deserve. Although
the pay of doctors is very high, however
, those who work
there do not get enough. They also
do night duties to help the patients and that is
a lot of work
hard. Another job, that in my point of view needs to be paid highly is teaching jobs. Teaching is a noble profession, they work
diligently to make the future of children which are the future of the country
. So, I think these professions must be paid highly as it has a significant value in our country
as well as
people
's lives.
In conclusion, those who entertain us get high pay because they are worth it because of their talent, and hard work
. However
, teachers and nurses must be pay
equally high as well because of the importance of their profession.Change the verb form
be paid
Submitted by chamang774 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, aim to use more varied linking words and phrases. This will help in connecting ideas more smoothly across different parts of the essay.
task achievement
For better task achievement, ensure that examples are directly linked to the points you are making. This will help strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a clear introduction and conclusion frameworks, enhancing the structure and readability.
task achievement
You have covered both aspects of the task question adequately, discussing both why entertainers are paid highly and which other professions should be paid more.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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