The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960.
The diagram illustrates the development
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
Queen Mary Hospital since its establishment in 1960.
Overall
, the main
changes
to the hospital took place in 1980
while
only minor
changes
occurred in 2000. In 1960, there were two locations: a shopping
centre
and farmland where people could go next to the hospital.
However
, in 1980, both the shopping
centre
and farmland were demolished and
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
replaced with a
cancer
centre
and nursing school respectively.
Furthermore
, the
cancer
centre
was smaller than the shopping
centre
while
the nursing school was a similar size to the farmland.
In addition
, the hospital expanded to include a pharmacy next to the
cancer
centre
. In 2000, there were only
changes
in the sizes of locations, but no major
changes
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
took place at the hospital. The hospital and pharmacy remained unchanged
while
the nursing school was reduced in size to accommodate the upsize of the
cancer
centre
, which took up the space that the nursing
centre
was located at in 1980.
Moreover
, the car park became smaller
comparison
Change preposition
in comparison
show examples
to its size in 1960 and 1980.
Submitted by d.adeliasong on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words changes, centre, cancer with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • renovation
  • expansion
  • modernization
  • facilities
  • departments
  • adjacent structures
  • patient care
  • medical technology
  • specialized centers
  • eco-friendly initiatives
  • initial layout
  • construction
  • extensions
  • improvements
  • community health services
  • capabilities
  • repurposing
  • developments
  • efficiency
  • upgrades
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