IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think it is necessary to use animals to test medicines or products intended for human use. Others, however, criticize this as animal cruelty. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #animals #test #medicines #products #cruelty
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Some individuals believe that
animals
 play an important role to testify the
medicines
 or products prior it to apply on human skin, to know the effects of it and
ofcourse
Correct your spelling
of course
, of having some
psysiological
Correct your spelling
physiological
psychological
 similarities
among
Change preposition
between
show examples
 both species
while
 other
segment
Change the wording
segments
show examples
 of people consider it as animal cruelty because they
belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
 that these tests badly affect animal skins and they should
be treat
Change the verb form
be treated
show examples
 as like other creatures. For me, animal experimentation is beneficial to some extent but researchers should rely on other measures too. On the one hand, scientific methods
used
Add a missing verb
are used
show examples
 to identify the results of particular
medicines
 or products before the usage by human beings. As we know, the initial stage of every treatment seems to be risky. So, to save the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 of humans from any kind of disease
then
 they think
animals
 are the best to testify
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 consequences of these
medicines
. In
this
 way, animal
experiments
 not only
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientists to make effective pills but
also
 limit some potential harm that people will get.
Moreover
, some species have similarities
as like
Change preposition
to
show examples
 human beings
such
 as mice, monkeys
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Pigs etcetera.
That is
 why, scientific
experiments
 are required to cure chronological diseases.
For instance
, in
Covid-19
Correct article usage
the Covid-19
show examples
 pandemic,
researches
Replace the word
researchers
show examples
 all around the globe used
animals
 to make effective vaccines to save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human life because of the resemblance between humans and
animals
. The other school of thought advocates that treating these mute
animals
 with torture and
cruelity
Correct your spelling
cruelty
creating
Wrong verb form
creates
show examples
 a bad image in the eyes of people. A key point is to notice that just as human beings have the right to live ,
animals
 have the same too. In most of the cases, it can be seen that researchers treated
animals
 badly and injected
carelessely
Correct your spelling
carelessly
. Because of that,
animals
 suffered pain and
then
 died at
last
 when they
did
Verb problem
were
show examples
 not able to bear the effects of testified
experiments
. Another is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 humans and
animals
 are different from each other.
Also
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
using
animals
 continuously
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the introduction of new
medicines
 may extinct the number of endangered species. One study revealed by
university
Add an article
the university
a university
show examples
 that the usage of white rats in
reseraches
Correct your spelling
research
 may
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the food chain and imbalance the ecosystem as well. To reiterate, the proponents of favouring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animal
experiments
 believe in
a scientific inventions
Correct the article-noun agreement
scientific inventions
a scientific invention
show examples
 to know the outcomes of
experiments
 and for the
physciological
Correct your spelling
physiological
psychological
 similarities.
However
, others contemplate it as animal brutality by badly injecting them and doing
experiments
 on their skin. For me, Animal
experiments
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 valuable to some extent but I think scientists should use other methods
instead
 of showing cruelty towards
animals
such
 as Computer simulation,
vitro
Change preposition
in vitro
show examples
 testing
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
volunteer studies etcetera are really helpful
to make
Change preposition
in making
show examples
 vaccines.
Submitted by kaurjagdeep2097 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly. While the introduction and conclusion are present, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
Clarify your main points. Sometimes, the ideas seem repetitive or not clearly articulated. Try to focus on distinct points for each perspective.
Task Achievement
Avoid using overly complex sentences that can confuse the reader. Simplicity, paired with clarity, often works best.
Task Achievement
You provided a well-balanced discussion of both views, indicating your understanding of the complexity of the issue.
Task Achievement
The inclusion of examples, like the one about the use of animals during the Covid-19 pandemic, strengthens your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good framework for your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Animal testing
  • Ethical concerns
  • Medical advancements
  • Safety assessment
  • Vaccines
  • Antibiotics
  • Physiological similarities
  • Cruelty-free alternatives
  • In vitro testing
  • Computer modeling
  • Synthetic human tissue
  • Sentient beings
  • Potential toxicity
  • Alternative methods
  • Humane and cost-effective
  • Research institutions
  • Reliability
  • Ethical considerations
What to do next:
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