IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You have seen an advertisiment in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look for their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parnets. In your letter -Explain why you would like the job -Give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ -Say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing in response to your advertisement seeking someone to live with your family for six months and care for your six-year-old child. I am enthusiastic about
this
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 opportunity, as I have a passion for childcare and experience working with young children. I believe I would be an excellent fit for your family. I have previously worked as a nanny, where I developed strong relationships with the children I cared for. My approach focuses on creating a fun and educational environment, incorporating activities that promote learning and creativity. I am
also
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 First Aid certified,
ensuring
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and ensuring
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 your child's safety is my top priority. During my free time in Australia, I would love to explore the beautiful landscapes, visit local attractions, and immerse myself in the culture. I am excited about the possibility of contributing to your family and creating lasting memories with your child. I am looking forward to receiving your reply. Yours faithfully Emily Choi

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task response
Your letter is well-structured, but consider adding a brief introduction about yourself to make a stronger initial connection.
coherence and cohesion
To improve the fluidity of your writing, you might use more transitional phrases to connect your ideas. This can enhance the overall cohesion of your letter.
task achievement
Your tone is warm and friendly, which is very appropriate for this type of letter.
task achievement
You provided clear examples of your qualifications, which effectively demonstrate why you would be a suitable candidate.
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