Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate school. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people think that children
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
in separate
collegel
Correct your spelling
college
colleges
is better than
tradation
Correct your spelling
traditional
tradition
school
. They
though
Correct your spelling
thought
show examples
that
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
separate
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will not
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
study
.
Therefore
I think separate
college
Fix the agreement mistake
colleges
show examples
can just
improve
Verb problem
encourage
show examples
more
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
to
study
better and have
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
exprence
Correct your spelling
experience
n
Change preposition
in
show examples
school
. The worst thing
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
student
study
Replace the word
studying
show examples
in
Correct article usage
a tradation
show examples
tradation
Correct your spelling
tradition
traditional
school
.
First,
they can't only
focas
Correct your spelling
focus
on
learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
. Boy and girl
reationship
Correct your spelling
relationships
in
secredary
Correct your spelling
secondary
school
are so
distop
Correct your spelling
stop
desktop
their
study
. They need to learn how the
reationship
Correct your spelling
relationship
between boys and
gils
Correct your spelling
girls
.
Therefore
it will make
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
weast
Correct your spelling
waste
a lot of time on that thing and can't
focas
Correct your spelling
focus
on
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
. The benefit of the teenager
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
in
tradation
Correct your spelling
tradition
traditional
college. It can help them improve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
social
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
in
school
. They can learn how to have a friendship with
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
people.
Becaes
Correct your spelling
Because
after they
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduate
show examples
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
school
they
also
need to learn that skill
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
I think learning in
Correct article usage
a tradation
show examples
tradation
Correct your spelling
traditional
tradition
school
is better. Education
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
not only
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
people
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
and
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
.
More over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
they can learn more
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
in
tradation
Correct your spelling
tradition
traditional
school
to
prepaer
Correct your spelling
prepare
to work. But
separate
Add an article
the separate
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
also
can let them more
focas
Correct your spelling
focus
on
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
.
Therefore
both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
are good for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenager is stand for their need.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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task achievement
The essay addresses both perspectives, but the arguments need to be more balanced and well-explained. Try to elaborate on the examples to give a clearer picture.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from a clearer logical structure. Consider using paragraphs more effectively to separate different points.
coherence cohesion
Include a proper introduction and conclusion to frame your discussion, making your argument clearer.
task achievement
The essay attempts to discuss both points of view, which is essential for this type of task.
coherence cohesion
The essay identifies both potential benefits of separate and mixed schools, offering a starting point for deeper analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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