IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate school. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Many people think that children
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 in separate
collegel
Correct your spelling
college
colleges
 is better than
Use synonyms
tradation
Correct your spelling
traditional
tradition
school
Use synonyms
. They
though
Correct your spelling
thought
show examples
 that
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
separate
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will not
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
study
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
 I think separate
college
Fix the agreement mistake
colleges
show examples
 can just
improve
Verb problem
encourage
show examples
 more
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 to
study
Use synonyms
 better and have
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
exprence
Correct your spelling
experience
n
Change preposition
in
show examples
school
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
The worst thing
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
student
Use synonyms
study
Replace the word
studying
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a tradation
show examples
tradation
Correct your spelling
tradition
traditional
school
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
they can't only
focas
Correct your spelling
focus
 on
learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
. Boy and girl
reationship
Correct your spelling
relationships
 in
secredary
Correct your spelling
secondary
school
Use synonyms
 are so
distop
Correct your spelling
stop
desktop
 their
study
Use synonyms
. They need to learn how the
reationship
Correct your spelling
relationship
 between boys and
gils
Correct your spelling
girls
.
Therefore
Linking Words
 it will make
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
weast
Correct your spelling
waste
 a lot of time on that thing and can't
focas
Correct your spelling
focus
 on
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
.
Body paragraph 2
The benefit of the teenager
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
tradation
Correct your spelling
tradition
traditional
 college. It can help them improve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 social
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 in
school
Use synonyms
. They can learn how to have a friendship with
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 people.
Becaes
Correct your spelling
Because
 after they
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduate
show examples
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 they
also
Linking Words
 need to learn that skill
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
 I think learning in
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a tradation
show examples
tradation
Correct your spelling
traditional
tradition
school
Use synonyms
 is better.
Conclusion
Education
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not only
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 people
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
.
More over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
 they can learn more
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
tradation
Correct your spelling
tradition
traditional
school
Use synonyms
 to
prepaer
Correct your spelling
prepare
 to work. But
separate
Add an article
the separate
show examples
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
also
Linking Words
 can let them more
focas
Correct your spelling
focus
 on
Use synonyms
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
 both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
 are good for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenager is stand for their need.

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task achievement
The essay addresses both perspectives, but the arguments need to be more balanced and well-explained. Try to elaborate on the examples to give a clearer picture.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from a clearer logical structure. Consider using paragraphs more effectively to separate different points.
coherence cohesion
Include a proper introduction and conclusion to frame your discussion, making your argument clearer.
task achievement
The essay attempts to discuss both points of view, which is essential for this type of task.
coherence cohesion
The essay identifies both potential benefits of separate and mixed schools, offering a starting point for deeper analysis.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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