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Band 3

Some people say that excessive noise should be a criminal offence while other say they should be free to make noise without limitations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #noise #offence #limitations
Freedom
 of
opinion
 is a contentious debate,
whereas
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
some
people
 think that, talking too
musch
Correct your spelling
much
 is a criminal offence.
However
, I agree that
everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 the right to
freedom
 of
speach
Correct your spelling
speech
, because it is
parts
Fix the agreement mistake
part
show examples
 of human rights, regardless
nationality
Change preposition
of nationality
show examples
, and sex.
This
 essay will
eximine
Correct your spelling
examine
 some points regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
freedom
 of
opinion
.
To begin
 with, there are numerous reasons why
people
 say that
someone
 who
talk
Change the verb form
talks
show examples
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 much is a criminal offence, because not all
people
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
convinience
Correct your spelling
comfortable
 with excessive opinions, some
people
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 it
as
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 annoying habit, and not
everyone
 can
accepted
Change the verb form
accept
show examples
 it.
For Instance
, In a formal forum,
someone
 can give her/his opinions but with
limitations
Replace the word
limited
show examples
 time, by that,
someone
 who wants to give his/her opinions can
optimized
Wrong verb form
optimise
show examples
 it without bothering or
waste
Wrong verb form
wasting
show examples
 other
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 time.
On the other hand
,
people
 think that
everyone
 has their own
opinion
 and they have
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 to
freedom
 of
opinion
, I agree with
this
 view, considering,
everyone
Correct word choice
that everyone
show examples
not
Change the verb form
does not
did not
show examples
 have
ability
Add an article
the ability
show examples
 for public speaking,
however
 they want to present their
thought
Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
show examples
. As human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
, we need to respect other perspectives, normalizing excessive noise.
To conclude
,
despite
Change preposition
apply
show examples
somehow, listening to
someone
 who has excessive noise is a bit
annoyed
Replace the word
annoying
show examples
. Because not
everyone
convey
Change the verb form
conveys
show examples
 with pleonastic noise,
however
 as human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
, we have to realise that
everyone
 has their human rights.
Submitted by masry.pakpahan on

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task achievement
Ensure the introduction clearly outlines both views mentioned in the prompt.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your support for each viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical flow by using more transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Clarify main points in each paragraph for better cohesion.
task achievement
The essay discusses both views, which is essential for this type of question.
coherence cohesion
A conclusion is provided, summarizing the discussion points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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