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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people say governments should give health care the first priorities,while some others belive there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayer's money.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #health #care #first #priorities #belive #taxpayer #money
People have different opinions on the priority order for spending of
government
 when
allocate
Change the verb form
allocating
show examples
 taxpayers' money.Some people think
healthcare
 should be the top priority,but
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
others consider that other areas deserve more attention. On the one hand,those who
adcocate
Correct your spelling
advocate
 prioritizing
healthcare
srgue
Correct your spelling
argue
 that a healthy population is the cornerstone of a prosperous
socirty
Correct your spelling
society
.Without good
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
,the development of other aspects of
socirty
Correct your spelling
society
 may be hindered.
Thet
Correct your spelling
They
show examples
 believe that it is the
government
's
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
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 to ensure that everyone has access to necessary medical services.
This
 not only improves the quality of life for individuals but
also
 lowers
long-trem
Correct your spelling
long-term
healthcare
 costs.
Additionally
.a healthy workforce is more productive,contributing to the
overall
 economic growth
og
Correct your spelling
of
 the nation.
On the other hand
,critics argue that the
government
 should not focus solely on
healthcare
 when distributing resources.They believe that areas
such
 as education,infrastructure,and environmental protection are equally important.
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
 instance,investing in education can develop a future workforce
that is
 capable and innovative.
Also
,spending on infrastructure can stimulate economic activities,create jobs,and enhance living standards.Another crucial consideration is the environment.Poor air quality and various forms of pollution have posed significant threats to people's health,making it urgent for the
government
 to invest in improving the living
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
. In my opinion,both healthy society needs to be well-rounded,which requires coordinated investments across various fields.
Therefore
,
wen
Correct your spelling
when
show examples
allocationf
Correct your spelling
allocating
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
,governments should take into account the
importanceof
Correct your spelling
importance of
 each sector and strive for a balanced strategy that promotes comprehensive societal progress.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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grammar
Pay attention to spelling and grammar to enhance readability and clarity.
example suggestions
Include more specific examples or data to support your arguments, especially in the body paragraphs.
organization
You presented both views of the issue logically and objectively, and gave a balanced opinion.
structure
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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