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Band 4

Some people believe that new science related to criminal forensics should be used to look at old cases. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #science #forensics #cases
New invention related to criminal forensics is a contentious debate
whereas
 some people think that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should be used to investigate
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
old
cases
. I firmly agree with
this
 view, because we can utilize the
advance
Fix the agreement mistake
advances
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 technology to recall old
cases
 which not
solved
Add a missing verb
been solved
show examples
 yet to find the
truth
 for justice.
To begin
 with, one of the fundamental
principal
Correct your spelling
principle
show examples
 in Law is
equility
Correct your spelling
equality
 before the law, everyone has their own rights
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
under the law. Before the new invention
relate
Wrong verb form
related
show examples
 to criminal forensics, there
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 numerous
cases
 not solved yet and authorities closed those
cases
due to
 lack of
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
, leading to injustice. I totally agree
if
Correct word choice
that
show examples
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 new science should be used to
figured
Change the form of the verb
figure
show examples
 out
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
old
cases
.
For example
, a family member
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 abused by
criminal
Correct article usage
a criminal
show examples
,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
due to
 lack
evidence
Change preposition
of evidence
show examples
, the authorities could not make a fair decision to the criminal.
On the other hand
, some people believe that it is good to not look at the old
cases
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it might be open the bad memories. Sometimes
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some people need
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
 time to be healed, and
some points
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
 we better not know the
truth
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 mental health.
For Instance
, if something bad for our family member,
how
Correct word choice
what
show examples
 if the suspect is from the family?
To conclude
,
despite
Change preposition
apply
show examples
somehow, knowing the
truth
 can open
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 bad memory, but from my perspective
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 good to know the
truth
 for justice and it will answer the
curiousity
Correct your spelling
curiosity
.
Submitted by masry.pakpahan on

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coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure by varying sentence lengths and types to maintain reader interest.
task achievement
Work on grammar and vocabulary to ensure the accuracy and clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
Good attempt at providing balanced viewpoints in the argument.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion that establish the essay's standpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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