Putting criminals into prisons is not an effective way to deal with them. Instead, education and job training should be offered. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe it is better to engage
criminals
more efficiently
for example
by educating and training them for a job
instead
of putting them in prison. I strongly agree with
this
statement because education can help them acquire more knowledge and improve their character to become a better person. It is believed that most
criminals
do not have developed skills and talents. Most
criminals
never improve their talents and never gain knowledge to develop their abilities.
However
, by educating
criminals
on new skills and helping them to discover their aptitudes we can deal with them more effectively.
For example
, studies show
criminals
who are more educated have more pleasant behaviours.
Additionally
, some prisoners can work in carriers
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
are skilled .
This
led
criminals
to feel more productive and useful for society. Plus, they can learn new skills from each other which provoke positive attitudes and behaviors.
For example
, research illustrates
criminals
who have more abilities in work prefer to cooperate more. In conclusion, It is better to occupy
criminals
with more practical activities
instead
of putting them in prison because as they can develop their abilities, they can
also
improve their behaviours.
Submitted by pardiskashfi2001 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points.
task achievement
Ensure all ideas presented are clearly explained and relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow by using more linking words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Develop a clearer introduction and conclusion to strengthen the essay structure.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic by clearly stating agreement with the argument.
coherence cohesion
Main points are organized with some logical flow and connection.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • reintegration
  • rehabilitation
  • punitive measures
  • mindset
  • behavioral change
  • workforce preparation
  • prospects
  • reoffending
  • employment opportunities
  • socioeconomic
  • low-risk offenders
  • serious offenders
  • balance
  • productive members of society
  • economic burden
  • public safety
  • offender rehabilitation
  • transformative programs
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