Putting criminals into prisons is not an effective way to deal with them. Instead, education and job training should be offered. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many
people
argue that put
criminals into prisons Wrong verb form
putting
in
not the best way to deal with them, Correct your spelling
is
while
others belive
that Correct your spelling
believe
give
them Wrong verb form
giving
education
and job training it
will enhance their actions. Correct pronoun usage
apply
However
, in this
essay, I will discuss both perspectives and provide my own opinion.
On the one hand, if the person made
a crime, he must have a punishment for Verb problem
committed
this
action. Putting him in peisons
is the best way to Correct your spelling
prison
prisons
punishment
him, but Replace the word
punish
also
it can impact him negativel
and make him a very bad one. Correct your spelling
negatively
negative
For example
, when a man made
a wicked action, the police officer Verb problem
commits
will decided
to put him in jail, after his Wrong verb form
decides
period
in this
place he will continue his criminals
and Replace the word
crimes
destroying
the rules. Wrong verb form
destroy
Therefore
, this
place can put limit
to their Add an article
a limit
actives
but it will be for a short Replace the word
activities
period
.
On the other hand
, inculd
Verb problem
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
education
and job trining
as a rule in jail for criminals, can make them good individuals, and after their Correct your spelling
training
period
in this
place they can start new lives with new goals. For instance
, on
some Change preposition
in
jail
in Fix the agreement mistake
jails
Europe
they Add a comma
Europe,
offers
books to read and give these Change the verb form
offer
people
an education
. That is
their idea for punishment bad
Change preposition
of bad
people
, let them have a second chance to start from beginning
. Add an article
the beginning
Moreover
, education
and learning new skills can always put people
on
good places, and I firmly support Change preposition
in
that
idea that everyone Correct determiner usage
the
deserve
a second chance.
In conclusion, bad citizens must have a Change the verb form
deserves
period
that make
them feel guilty about their actions but at the same time they should have a second try for their future, and become Change the verb form
makes
a
good Correct article usage
apply
people
that
will Correct pronoun usage
who
beneficial
their country and Replace the word
benefit
also
themself,and this
will not happen without offering to them education
and work training in this
time.Submitted by daliaakram35 on
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task achievement
Focus on strengthening the argument by including more convincing examples. Examples provided in the essay are quite brief and general.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity of ideas and expressions. This will allow for a more comprehensive response to the essay question.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next to maintain a more logical structure.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help in framing the argument.
task achievement
Both perspectives of the argument are addressed, which adds depth to the discussion.
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