Some people say the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Recently, because of crucial changes in the environment, the homeostasis of our world is compromised.
As a result
, a lot of creatures are close to extinction but there are other major issues that have to be faced.
Overall
, animal and plant loss is certainly a huge problem, especially when talking about bees. In fact, those tiny, funny looking
animals are crucial for our survival, because they have a role in plants' reproduction since they are capable of Add a hyphen
funny-looking
pollinate
flowers. Change the form of the verb
pollinating
As a result
, if they are extinct, a lot of plant species will die with them. According to
data, if the current trend continues, all bees will be gone in only 10 years, causing negative effects on the environment.
On the other hand
, there are scarier consequences due to
the
climate change. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, the sea level is sharply rising because of the melting of arctic ice. Scientists suggest that the coastline will rise by 8 metres in only 30 years! Therefore
, thousands of people will no longer have a house where to live. In addition
, disastrous weather conditions are caused by the increasing temperatures. In fact, in the last
10 years, the number of tornados and floods showed an upward trend of 30%, moreover
, this
number is expected to rise in the near future.
In conclusion, I believe that the harm we are causing to other living creatures is cruel, but I think our focus should be directed on changing this
trend, otherwise
, there will be some serious consequences. For example
, governments should encourage big companies to produce less carbon dioxide emissions by punishing them if they do. Furthermore
, we citizens should also
contribute by reducing our carbon footprint.Submitted by alessandro.talese on
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task achievement
Work on enhancing the depth of your analysis in the body paragraphs. Providing more detailed explanations and expanding on your points can elevate the essay's quality.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that transition phrases or linking words are consistently used to facilitate a smoother flow of information between your ideas.
task achievement
The essay offers a balanced discussion with a clear insight into both sides of the argument. The writer manages to encapsulate the essence of the task, making it a comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion that summarises the key points effectively, maintaining a logical structure throughout the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?