IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the expenditure of 2 countries on consumer goods in 2010.

The chart below shows the expenditure of 2 countries on consumer goods in 2010.
#expenditure #countries #consumer #goods
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The chart illustrates the outlay
of4
Correct your spelling
of
 different
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
cars
Use synonyms
,
computers
Use synonyms
,books,perfume and
cameras
Use synonyms
 in 2 various countries
France
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 in 2010. One striking feature is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Use synonyms
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 spent more
money
Use synonyms
all
Change preposition
on all
show examples
 kinds of
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 than
France
Use synonyms
,during the period. Both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries spent more
money
Use synonyms
 on
cars
Use synonyms
 than
other
Change the wording
another consumer
other consumers
show examples
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
.İf we compared
Use synonyms
parfume
Correct your spelling
perfume
 and
cameras
Use synonyms
,the least
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 was spent on
Parfume
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the Uk
show examples
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 and
this
Linking Words
 is
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 on
cameras
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
. The
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spent on books and
computers
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 closer be it
France
Use synonyms
 or
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the Uk
show examples
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
.
Lastly
Linking Words
,there the most crucial difference in
expense
Use synonyms
 be it
France
Use synonyms
 or
Use synonyms
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 was on
cameras
Use synonyms
. In 2010,
people
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
Uk was
Verb problem
the UK
show examples
 spent
money
Use synonyms
 about 450.000 on
cars
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was closer
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
France
Use synonyms
.In
France
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 paid out
money
Use synonyms
 about 400.000
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
.In terms of
cars
Use synonyms
,both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries'
Use synonyms
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
 was
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
. The
Use synonyms
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 had higher
Use synonyms
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
 on
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 than
France
Use synonyms
expect
Wrong verb form
expected
show examples
 for
computers
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
parfume
Correct your spelling
perfume
.
People
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spent more
money
Use synonyms
 than
Uk
Use synonyms
,the
Use synonyms
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
computers
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
parfume
Correct your spelling
perfume
 were about 400.000 and 200.000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
Use synonyms
 paid out on
cameras
Use synonyms
 was lower in
France
Use synonyms
.
France
Use synonyms
 individuals spent
money
Use synonyms
 about 150.000 on
cameras
Use synonyms
 which is
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.Individuals in
Uk
Use synonyms
 paid
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about 300.000
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
cameras
Use synonyms
 and it was the most significant difference in
expendeture
Correct your spelling
expenditure
expenditures
 between
Uk
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
 was on
cameras
Use synonyms
.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumer, goods, cars, computers, cameras, france, uk, money, parfume, amount, expense, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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