For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than art. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?

In the past,
art
used to be one of the integral parts of societies, which changed
dramaticly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
duo
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due
show examples
to
advant
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advent
advance
of technology.
people
started to move on and choose
tech based
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tech-based
show examples
stuff over
art
.
This
essay
,
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apply
show examples
explores the possible reasons and gives some solutions that could be useful to make
people
not forget about
arts
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the arts
show examples
.
Firstly
, the reason why
art
was an important part of
approximatly
Correct your spelling
approximately
all nations, was first because back in
old
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the old
show examples
days
people
did not have any special things for entertainment, so most of its usage can be justified here. In detail, schools and educational facilities would
also
use
art
to teach and raise children, which increased the number of
art
fans even more.
Secondly
, the biggest idea comes in which is
also
the same cause for
loosing
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losing
show examples
many traditions over
time
. It is in fact the need that today's mankind has
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
money, which has become a
raising
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rising
show examples
trend after
Add an article
the industrial
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industrial revolution
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Industrial Revolution
show examples
. As lives got more hectic over
time
, humans had less
time
to spend on
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
and
this
resulted in
art
's fading as we moved on.
On the other hand
, there are still some moves that could be made to stop
art
's extinction. To start with, we all know that in recent years there has been an undeniable
improvment
Correct your spelling
improvement
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
human lifestyle especially in first-world countries.
This
means that there has
became
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become
show examples
a room or extra
time
in an
every day
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everyday
show examples
life, which could be spent on other things. Using
this
potential, we can give
art
another life by making
right
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the right
show examples
decisions like making
art
an important lesson in schools.
Fainally
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Finally
, the best way to revive
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
is to make it collide with technology.
This
means, if they both come
to gether
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together
show examples
, they can help each
one
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
,
for example
by advertising
art
on TV and social media we can expect more
people
to care
abot
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about
it. In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
arts
were an
essensial
Correct your spelling
essential
part of many cultures in the past mostly
duo
Correct your spelling
due
show examples
to entertainment purposes. As lives started to be more hectic,
arts
started to be forgotten. But,
this
could be fixed if
people
in charge would care enough and science and technology
also
come to the rescue.
Submitted by Taha Sol. on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on specific examples that support your points. For instance, mention specific movements or projects that integrate technology with art.
language use
Revise minor grammar errors to improve clarity, such as 'advant' to 'advent', 'conlusion' to 'conclusion', and 'essensial' to 'essential'.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear overview of your arguments.
task achievement
You clearly identify two main causes for the shift in societal values, and propose thoughtful solutions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural significance
  • STEM education
  • Art installations
  • Interdisciplinary projects
  • Public engagement
  • Art appreciation
  • Technological advancement
  • Economic stability
  • Lucrative careers
  • Social media influence
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