For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than art. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?

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In the past,
art
Use synonyms
used to be one of the integral parts of societies, which changed
dramaticly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
duo
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due
show examples
to
advant
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advent
advance
of technology.
people
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started to move on and choose
tech based
Add a hyphen
tech-based
show examples
stuff over
art
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.
This
Linking Words
essay
,
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apply
show examples
explores the possible reasons and gives some solutions that could be useful to make
people
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not forget about
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the reason why
art
Use synonyms
was an important part of
approximatly
Correct your spelling
approximately
all nations, was first because back in
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
days
people
Use synonyms
did not have any special things for entertainment, so most of its usage can be justified here. In detail, schools and educational facilities would
also
Linking Words
use
art
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to teach and raise children, which increased the number of
art
Use synonyms
fans even more.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the biggest idea comes in which is
also
Linking Words
the same cause for
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
many traditions over
time
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. It is in fact the need that today's mankind has
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
money, which has become a
raising
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rising
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trend after
Add an article
the industrial
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industrial revolution
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Industrial Revolution
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. As lives got more hectic over
time
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, humans had less
time
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to spend on
Use synonyms
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
and
this
Linking Words
resulted in
art
Use synonyms
's fading as we moved on.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are still some moves that could be made to stop
art
Use synonyms
's extinction. To start with, we all know that in recent years there has been an undeniable
improvment
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improvement
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
human lifestyle especially in first-world countries.
This
Linking Words
means that there has
became
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become
show examples
a room or extra
time
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in an
every day
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everyday
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life, which could be spent on other things. Using
this
Linking Words
potential, we can give
art
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another life by making
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
decisions like making
art
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an important lesson in schools.
Fainally
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Finally
, the best way to revive
Use synonyms
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
is to make it collide with technology.
This
Linking Words
means, if they both come
to gether
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together
show examples
, they can help each
one
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
,
for example
Linking Words
by advertising
art
Use synonyms
on TV and social media we can expect more
people
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to care
abot
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about
it. In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
arts
Use synonyms
were an
essensial
Correct your spelling
essential
part of many cultures in the past mostly
duo
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due
show examples
to entertainment purposes. As lives started to be more hectic,
arts
Use synonyms
started to be forgotten. But,
this
Linking Words
could be fixed if
people
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in charge would care enough and science and technology
also
Linking Words
come to the rescue.
Submitted by Taha Sol. on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on specific examples that support your points. For instance, mention specific movements or projects that integrate technology with art.
language use
Revise minor grammar errors to improve clarity, such as 'advant' to 'advent', 'conlusion' to 'conclusion', and 'essensial' to 'essential'.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear overview of your arguments.
task achievement
You clearly identify two main causes for the shift in societal values, and propose thoughtful solutions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural significance
  • STEM education
  • Art installations
  • Interdisciplinary projects
  • Public engagement
  • Art appreciation
  • Technological advancement
  • Economic stability
  • Lucrative careers
  • Social media influence
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