Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
These days there has been an increasing number of people who claim that
zoos
harm animals
rather than support and preserve them. While
,
other people believe that Remove the comma
apply
zoos
play the
important role Correct article usage
an
to keep
andChange preposition
in keeping
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
animals
. In this
essay
I am going to discuss both statements, before getting my own opinion.
On the one hand, Add a comma
essay,
zoos
is
the shelter for disabled Change the verb form
are
animals
, where stuff
care Correct your spelling
staff
and
grow Change preposition
for and
animals
, as their child. Afterwards, they release them when they would be
ready to keep up their natural daily Wrong verb form
are
live
. Replace the word
lives
Additionally
, zoos
promote help for species that fall under the
threat. They gather , breed themCorrect article usage
apply
and
encourage them to Correct word choice
apply
spreed
, and rescue their Correct your spelling
spread
inhatats
. The story with Indian national lions, which are added to "Red Correct your spelling
inhabitants
book
", now in the safe and Capitalize word
Book
in
the peak of its population Change preposition
at
becouse
of local Correct your spelling
because
zoos
that collect every lion across India and stopped
evaporation of it.
Wrong verb form
stop
On the other hand
, zoos
prevent livestock from freedom and natural life. As, they would Be preserved in small, abandoned and limited places, they
motivation to Correct pronoun usage
their
ruturn
Correct your spelling
return
their
pre-live might be lost. Change preposition
to their
Also
, by effects
of Correct article usage
the effects
Correct your spelling
polarisation
zooasisation
they can transform from wild and aggressive creatures into kind and domestic pests, which can lead to habitats lost.
In conclusion, despite the fact that Add a comma
zooasisation,
zoos
isolate animals
from their local stock . I personally belive
that Correct your spelling
believe
zoos
save a tons
of species across the world and help them to revise their Correct the article-noun agreement
a ton
tons
live
.Replace the word
lives
Submitted by halilova039 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, consider clearly separating each argument into distinct paragraphs, and use more linking words to bridge sentences smoothly.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to further support your points. This will give your essay depth and strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Review grammatical errors and improve sentence variety. This will enhance the overall clarity and fluency of your essay.
introduction conclusion
The essay provides an introduction and conclusion, clearly addressing both sides of the argument.
relevant specific examples
The essay uses examples, like the Indian national lions, to illustrate points, showing an understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.