IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Nowadays some
Use synonyms
animals
Change the noun form
animal
show examples
 species
facing
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
 challenges to stay alive. Others seem to be very adaptive in
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of environment. Many types of
animals
Use synonyms
 are at
risks
Fix the agreement mistake
risk
show examples
 of extinction for a variety of reasons
such
Linking Words
 as human hunting and
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
show examples
 environment. Figuring out
this
Linking Words
 issue should
be starts
Change the verb form
be started
show examples
 by strict rules by individuals and governments. On the one hand, many
animals
Use synonyms
 have been travelling from hunting zones
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 in order to
skape
Correct your spelling
escape
 the killing. For
exampl
Correct your spelling
example
, many birds now
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 vanished in Saudi Arabia because of the hunting season by some local people.
On the contrary
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, some
animals
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 like camels are growing in numbers
due to
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 the
community
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community's
show examples
 caring and
interesting
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interest
show examples
.
On the other hand
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, preventing some
animals
Use synonyms
 from being killed by
another animal
Fix the agreement mistake
other animals
show examples
 or
humen
Correct your spelling
humans
 is a crucial mission
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the government.
For instance
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, South Africa has a huge ban on the people who
hunts
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hunt
show examples
 tigers which may lead to
put
Change the verb form
putting
show examples
 them in prison since the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tigers
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 dropped in the past years.
In addition
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, some local
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
 in
Amazon
Correct article usage
the Amazon
show examples
 Jungle
prohibated
Correct your spelling
prohibited
 hunting some
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of snakes because they
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 them to kill
instects
Correct your spelling
insects
.
To sum up
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,
although
Linking Words
 some species of
animals
Use synonyms
 have a great risk to extinct, others tend to adapt and grow in proportion. Governments and individuals need to make changes in hunting
policy
Fix the agreement mistake
policies
show examples
 to save these species
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 time. It is predictable that
Use synonyms
animals
Change noun form
animals'
animal's
show examples
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
 will be
studed
Correct your spelling
studied
 more in the future.
Thus
Linking Words
, some fauna will be saved as colonies in many countries.

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task achievement
Elaborate more on the reasons behind animal extinction and link them explicitly to your examples. This will strengthen your explanation of the task response.
task achievement
Ensure examples are broad enough to support your points comprehensively—consider adding details about other factors like deforestation or climate change.
coherence cohesion
Structure your paragraphs with clear topic sentences outlining each paragraph's main point. This enhances logical flow and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Revise for grammatical accuracy—minor mistakes in spelling and grammar can sometimes distract from your main points. Consider proofreading.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, providing an overview and summary of your main ideas, which adds coherence to your writing.
task achievement
Examples are used to illustrate points, such as the South Africa tiger ban, which enhances understanding of real-world implications.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • endangered animals
  • biodiversity
  • habitat loss
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • poaching
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • conservation efforts
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • human overpopulation
  • sustainable development
  • responsible consumption
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • international cooperation
  • collaboration
What to do next:
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