IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

You have recently moved to a new aparatment. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter: •explain why you have moved •describe your new apartment •invite him/her to pay a visit

#aparatment #friend #•explain #•describe #apartment #•invite #visit
Dear John Smith, The purpose of writing
this
 letter to you for invite you and your family to our housewarming which we have moved recently to another
house
 with my family members. In the first place I have to mention that
while
 there are not any amenities, which are necessary to reside, the rent of the
house
 is quite expensive to pay.
In addition
, there is heavy noise which always starts bright and early because of the traffic light is located near to our old
house
. We have moved to a suburban area of the city with our family members to live in a new and modern apartment. Coming to the description of a new
house
, there are enough conveniences to stay in and
surrounded
Add a missing verb
be surrounded
show examples
 by natural scenery,
such
 as mountains, lakes, and gardens as well.
Besides
 that, there is a pool to learn swimming activities and
also
 a playground for my children to play outdoor games.
Therefore
, I am sending you an invitation to come with your family to relax or escape the concerns of work. If you visit there, I will be happy and we will spend time together. Hoping that you will receive my invitation and come with your family. I will wait for your reply at your earliest convenience. Yours sincerely, Omadi
Submitted by yoqubjonovjamshidbek23 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity between main ideas and supporting details. Consider separating the purpose of the letter and the details about the move.
coherence cohesion
Try to keep each paragraph focused on a single main idea to enhance clarity for the reader.
task achievement
Provide a bit more detail on why the new location and apartment are advantageous beyond noise and cost issues, if possible.
task achievement
The letter has a friendly and inviting tone appropriate for a letter to a friend.
task achievement
The letter includes an informative description of the new location.
coherence cohesion
Effective use of greetings and closings contributes to the sense of communication.
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