Many people believe that social networking sites (such as facebook)have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society?To what extent do you agree? In the current world, The usage of technology is constantly on the rise.

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These days a lot of
people
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argue that social
media
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have a negative impact on both
human
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humans
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and society. I completely disagree with
this
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statement.
Firstly
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, using social
media
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help
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helps
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people
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to connect with each other.
Secondly
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, social networking
help
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helps
show examples
individuals create their own work which
make
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makes
show examples
them able to earn money. First of all, social
media
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have
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has
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two sides. it can be a big
chance
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for some
people
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while
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maybe be the
worset
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worst
thing in
the
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apply
show examples
life for others. Social networking sites
is
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are
show examples
the best way to
discovering
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discover
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a new culture around the world.
Although
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you have an option to travel and visit new places, it's
a
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an
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interesting thing to visit these places
while
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you are in your home.
For example
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, a study at Harvard University shows that around 85% of
people
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in 2020
like
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liked
show examples
discovering countries and cities
by
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via
show examples
social
media
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compared
going
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to going
show examples
their
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there
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by themselves. Plus it
is help
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helps
show examples
individuals to call each other.
Moreover
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,
recent
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in recent
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years there
are
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has been
show examples
a rise in
usage
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the usage
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of technology which
make
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makes
show examples
a lot of
people
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start their own
business
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businesses
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and make their own
wage
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wages
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.
For instance
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, when I graduated from university I started my own small business
by
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on
show examples
Instagram
what
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which
show examples
help
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helped
show examples
me to gain money until I
get
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got
show examples
my first job. Now a lot of companies and individuals work by social
media
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.
To sum up
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, I disagree with
people
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who believe that social networking just
have
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has
show examples
a negative impact
in
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on
show examples
society. There are
people
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have
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who have
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a
chance
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to see the world
by
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through
show examples
social
media
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and have a
chance
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to
learning
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learn
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and
exploring about
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explore
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the whole world. and there are
people
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have
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who have
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a
chance
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to
working
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work
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and get money
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
social
media
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by reem.b.albalawi on

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task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task completely. The essay does not fully explore the counterarguments or the potential negative impacts people see in social networking. Consider mentioning and briefly discussing opposing views even if you ultimately disagree with them.
coherence and cohesion
Improve logical progression by enhancing the flow between ideas and paragraphs. Ensure that each point logically follows the previous one. Work on transitions to make arguments more coherent throughout the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. The example from Harvard is broad and would benefit from more detail or context. Tailor examples to make the points more engaging and convincing.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your position and main arguments, reinforcing your perspective clearly and concisely.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear standpoint, and your main ideas are logically organized in body paragraphs with identifiable themes.
task achievement
The introduction is straightforward and directly addresses the task, providing a clear thesis statement that sets up the essay well.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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