Many people believe that social networking sites (such as facebook)have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society?To what extent do you agree? In the current world, The usage of technology is constantly on the rise.
These days a lot of
people
argue that social media
have a negative impact on both human
and society. I completely disagree with Fix the agreement mistake
humans
this
statement. Firstly
, using social media
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
people
to connect with each other. Secondly
, social networking help
individuals create their own work which Change the verb form
helps
make
them able to earn money.
First of all, social Change the verb form
makes
media
have
two sides. it can be a big Correct subject-verb agreement
has
chance
for some people
while
maybe be the worset
thing in Correct your spelling
worst
the
life for others. Social networking sites Correct article usage
apply
is
the best way to Change the verb form
are
discovering
a new culture around the world. Wrong verb form
discover
Although
you have an option to travel and visit new places, it's a
interesting thing to visit these places Change the article
an
while
you are in your home. For example
, a study at Harvard University shows that around 85% of people
in 2020 like
discovering countries and cities Wrong verb form
liked
by
social Change preposition
via
media
compared going
Change preposition
to going
their
by themselves. Plus it Replace the word
there
is help
individuals to call each other.
Change the verb form
helps
Moreover
, recent
years there Change preposition
in recent
are
a rise in Wrong verb form
has been
usage
of technology which Correct article usage
the usage
make
a lot of Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
people
start their own business
and make their own Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
wage
. Fix the agreement mistake
wages
For instance
, when I graduated from university I started my own small business by
Instagram Change preposition
on
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
help
me to gain money until I Wrong verb form
helped
get
my first job. Now a lot of companies and individuals work by social Wrong verb form
got
media
.
To sum up
, I disagree with people
who believe that social networking just have
a negative impact Change the verb form
has
in
society. There are Change preposition
on
people
have
a Correct pronoun usage
who have
chance
to see the world by
social Change preposition
through
media
and have a chance
to learning
and Wrong verb form
learn
exploring about
the whole world. and there are Wrong verb form
explore
people
have
a Correct pronoun usage
who have
chance
to working
and get money Wrong verb form
work
by
social Change preposition
through
media
.Submitted by reem.b.albalawi on
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task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task completely. The essay does not fully explore the counterarguments or the potential negative impacts people see in social networking. Consider mentioning and briefly discussing opposing views even if you ultimately disagree with them.
coherence and cohesion
Improve logical progression by enhancing the flow between ideas and paragraphs. Ensure that each point logically follows the previous one. Work on transitions to make arguments more coherent throughout the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. The example from Harvard is broad and would benefit from more detail or context. Tailor examples to make the points more engaging and convincing.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your position and main arguments, reinforcing your perspective clearly and concisely.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear standpoint, and your main ideas are logically organized in body paragraphs with identifiable themes.
task achievement
The introduction is straightforward and directly addresses the task, providing a clear thesis statement that sets up the essay well.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.